“OLD BONES” NEWS October,m 2011

October 1, 2011

Edition 3, Issue
Birthday in the month of October

Happy Birthday Dear, Y.Edith Y Eva Y Marliese Y Happy Birthday to you! ♫ 

Oct 14 to Oct 23 –     Maple Tree

Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) — no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress

Oct 24 to Nov 11 –     Walnut Tree

Walnut Tree (Passion) — unrelenting, full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

News from  50+Center

 THANKSGIVING TURKEY DINNER

Date: Tuesday, October 4th, 2011 at 11:45am.  The cost is $12.00 for members, $15.00 for non-members.

Tickets will go on sale Monday, August 29th, 2011.  Tickets are non-transferable and non-refundable.

The  menu consists of a delicious turkey dinner and all its trimmings, a glass of wine and dessert.  There will be a Special Bingo in the afternoon in honour of Almage Senior week.

PENNY FAIR:

During the week of October 24th, 2011, the penny fair table will be set up and ready for business.  Tickets will be on sale.  The draw will take place on Tuesday, November 1st, 2011 at Birthday Bing.

HALOWEEN PARTY

Prizes will be given for the best costumes.  Games will be going on during the day. On the menu will be salad, spaghetti and meatballs with garlic bread, and a special dessert. A tasty punch will also be served.

Date: Tuesday, October 25th, 2011 at 11:45am.  The cost is $10.00 for members, $13.00 for non-members.

Tickets will go on sale on Monday September 19th.  Tickets are non-transferable and non-refundable.

MEMORIAL SERVICE (honoring our veterans):

Once again the memorial service will take place at Almage in November, date to be announced. 
Dorothy Letang is open to any suggestions, and/or feedback for the next memorial service.

News from Almage St Michel/Rosemount Satellite 

  • A number of our members met for a delicious smoked meat dinner at the Rosemount Royal Canadian Legion on Wednesday, September 7th.   There were lots of smiling faces, jokes and laughter.  A good time was had by all.
  • We celebrated Elizabeth’s birthday on September 17th with a birthday cake and a bingo game.
  • Thank you to our members who are providing, at their expense, delicious meals for our group.
  • We will be going to Knowlton on the 17th.  Bus leaves at 9:30 arrives back at 3:30
  • In order to keep an accurate accounting of our money a bank account has been opened.  The monthly statement will be available at the group meetings on the first Monday of each month.
  • New events of interest:

      A         We now have internet access.  Hooray!
     B          Michel Demers will return to present the “Live Beautifully” sessions we so enjoyed.                   
    C      We are in contact with a professional line dance teacher…  Do we have enoughinterested people to allow us to book him/her?   Please let Barbara or Janet know if  you are interested

  

  • There is a schedule of events for our Centre at the back of the newsletter.   Please have a look at it and let us know if you have any questions about it.  Please note it is subject to change.
  • Please get involved in planning our “December 5th Tea”.  It will be a lot of fun.  Shall we invite along with the seniors from the Almage 50+ Center, the Satellite Centers, media, politicians, and friends to come and visit with us?

 International Day of Older Persons – October 1, 2011
H
appy International Day of Older Persons!The General Assembly of the United Nations designated October 1st as International Day of Older Persons. This Day was observed for the first time throughout the world on October 1st, 1991.

By designating a “Special Day” for seniors, the Assembly was giving recognition to the contributions of seniors to development and also drawing attention to a demographic phenomenon: the greying of the population, the “age of aging”.

 The theme this year is: “Celebrating the 10th Anniversary of the International Year of Older Persons: Towards a Society for All Ages”.

Suggested themes for the activities may include:

Contributions of seniors to community life;

New roles for seniors in conflict resolutions;

Heroic, historic yet unrecognized contributions of senior women;

Care giving by the family as a unit;

Famous seniors, past and present

Individual life histories seen against major events;

Excerpts from: http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/seniors-aines/new-neuf/idop-eng.php
 

Positive Thoughts 

Life is the flower for which love is the honey. –Victor Hugo

Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. –George E. Woodberry

 Ah, but a man’s reach should exceed his grasp. Or what’s a heaven for? –Robert Brownin 

THANKSGIVING

October 10, 2011

TWAS THE NIGHT OF THANKSGIVING,
BUT I JUST COULDN’T SLEEP.
I  TRIED COUNTING BACKWARDS,
I TRIED COUNTING SHEEP.
 
THE LEFTOVERS BECKONED –
THE DARK MEAT AND WHITE,
BUT I FOUGHT THE TEMPTATION
WITH ALL OF MY MIGHT.
 
TOSSING AND TURNING WITH ANTICIPATION,
THE THOUGHT OF A SNACK BECAME INFATUATION.
SO, I RACED TO THE KITCHEN, FLUNG OPEN THE DOOR,
AND GAZED AT THE FRIDGE, FULL OF GOODIES GALORE.
GOBBLED UP TURKEY AND BUTTERED POTATOES,
PICKLES AND CARROTS, BEANS AND TOMATOES.
 
I FELT MYSELF SWELLING SO PLUMP AND SO ROUND,
‘TIL ALL OF A SUDDEN, I ROSE OFF THE GROUND.
I CRASHED THROUGH THE CEILING, FLOATING INTO THE SKY,
WITH A MOUTHFUL OF PUDDING AND A HANDFUL OF PIE.
BUT, I MANAGED TO YELL AS I SOARED PAST THE TREES….
HAPPY EATING TO ALL – PASS THE CRANBERRIES, PLEASE.
 
MAY YOUR STUFFING BE TASTY,
MAY YOUR TURKEY BE PLUMP.
MAY YOUR POTATOES ‘N GRAVY HAVE NARY A LUMP.

MAY YOUR YAMS BE DELICIOUS.
MAY YOUR PIES TAKE THE PRIZE,
MAY  YOUR THANKSGIVING DINNER STAY OFF OF YOUR THIGHS!!
 
HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ALL  

As Jack Layton wrote in his final letter to Canadians:

My friends, love is better than anger.
Hope is better than fear.
Optimism is better than despair.
So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic.
And we’ll change the world.

There’s a Lesson to be learned 

Come with me to a third grade classroom. There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of   a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It’s never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they’ll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, ‘Dear God, this  

is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I’m dead meat.’

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been   discovered.

As the   teacher is walking toward him, a class mate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is   filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy’s lap. 

The by pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, ‘Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!’

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher   rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. 

But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else – Susie.

She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You’ve done enough, you klutz!

Finally, at   the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers,  

‘You did that on purpose, didn’t you?’ Susie whispers back, ‘I wet my pants once too.’ 

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good. Remember. Just going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Each and everyone one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you   in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

This prayer is powerful, and prayer is one of the best gifts   we receive. There is no cost but a lot of   rewards. Let’s continue to pray for one another.he Prayer:  Father, I ask you to bless my friends, relatives and those that I care deeply for, who are reading this right now. Show them a new revelation of your love and power. Holy Spirit, I ask You to minister to their spirit at this very moment. Where there is pain, give them Your peace and mercy. Where there is self-doubt, release a  renewed confidence through Your grace. Where there is need, I ask you to fulfill their needs.   Bless their homes, families, finances, their goings and their comings. Amen.  Submitted by Cheryl

Did you know?

In times past men and women took baths only twice a year in May and October. Because of head lice, women kept their hair covered, while men shaved their heads and wore wigs. Wealthy men could afford wigs made from wool that couldn’t be washed.

The cleaning process went like this: A loaf of bread was carved out. The wig was put into the shell and baked for 30 minutes. The heat would make the wig big and fluffy, hence the term ‘Big Wig” used for anyone who appears to be or is powerful or wealthy

People who ride on roller coasters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain.

People with blue eyes see better in dark.

Money isn’t made out of paper; it is made out of cotton.

A tiny amount of liquor on a scorpion will make it go mad instantly and sting itself to death.

Chewing gum while peeling onions will keep you from crying. 

A huge underground river runs underneath the Nile, with six times more water than the river above.

The USA uses 29% of the world’s petrol and 33% of the world’s electricity.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear By 700 times

The animal responsible for the most human deaths world-wide is the mosquito.

Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.

We exercise at least 30 muscles when we smile.

Our nose is our personal air-conditioning system: it warms cold air, cools hot air and filters impurities.

Our brain is more complex than the most powerful computer and has over 100 billion nerve cells.

When a person dies, hearing is usually the first sense to go

There is a great mushroom in Oregon that is 2,400 years old. It Covers 3.4 square miles of land and is still growing.  NOTE:  Someone took the time to Google this one and it’s true!

German Shepherds bite humans more than any other breed of dog.

The pupil of the eye expands as much as 45 percent when a person looks at something pleasing

The reason honey is so easy to digest is that it’s already been digested by a bee.

It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it.

The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting.

The only part of the body that has no blood supply is the cornea in the eye. It takes in oxygen directly from the air                                                                                                                                 

Submitted by Michael

LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICIN

Give me a sense of humor, Lord;
Give me the grace to see a joke,

To get some humour out of life,
and pass it on to other folk.

Submitted by Stella

CREATIVE LOGS/EXERCISE BLOCK INSTRUCTIONS

1          Place block on floor in centre of room.

2          Walk around block twice.  Sit down and relax.

3          If anyone asks, have you exercised today?  Tell them you walked around the block twice.

Submitted by Ellen

Absolutely Brilliant Household Tip

Always keep several ‘get well’ cards on the mantle. So if unexpected guests arrive, they will think you’ve been sick and unable to clean                                                                                                  Submitted by Ted

Holy E-mail:

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the wicked behaviour going on.  He sent one of his angels to earth to look into it.
When the angel returned, he told God, “Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.”
God was not pleased so he decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them and give them a little something to help keep them going..

Do you know what the e-mail said?     
NO?
Okay, I was just wondering because I didn’t get one either.                                           Submitted by Stella

Can you read this?

Did I like nut another to it send, do to better anything have doesn’t that person a like this reading time sweet your took you since.

(Now read it backwards!)                                                                                            Submitted by Barbara 

Pest Control

 A woman was having an affair with an inspector from a pest-control company.  One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly

‘Quik,’ said the woman to the lover, ‘into the closet!’ and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet.

‘Who are you?’ he asked him.
‘I’m an inspector from ‘Bugs-B-Gone,’ said the exterminator.
‘What are you doing in there?’ the husband asked.

‘I’m investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,’ the man replied.
‘And where are your clothes?’ asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said, ‘those little bast****s!’                                 Submitted by Barbara

It’s all in the Sign

Two ladies of the night were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said:
Two Prostitutes – $50.00.
A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they’d either have to remove the sign or go to jail.
Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: ‘JESUS SAVES.’
One of the girls asked the officer, ‘How come you don’t stop them?!’
‘Well, that’s a little different,’ the officer smiled, ‘Their sign pertains to religion.’
The following day the same police officer noticed the same two ladies driving around with a large sign on their car.  He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign: 
Two Fallen Angels   Seeking Peter –$50                                                                      Submitted by Stella

Gynecological Visit
 A middle-aged woman seemed sheepish as she visited her gynecologist.
 “Come now,” coaxed the doctor, “you’ve been seeing me for years. There’s nothing you can’t tell me.”
“This one’s kind of strange,” the woman said.
“Let me be the judge of that,” the doctor replied.
 “Well,” she said, “yesterday I went to the bathroom in the morning and heard a plink-plink-plink in the toilet. When I looked down, the water was full of pennies.”
“I see,” commented the doctor calmly.
“That afternoon, I went to the bathroom again and, plink-plink-plink, there were nickels in the bowl,” the woman continued. “That night,” she went on, “I went again, and plink-plink-plink, there were dimes. This morning, there were quarters.
“You’ve got to tell me what’s wrong with me!” she implored. “I’m scared out of my wits!”
The gynecologist put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “There, there, it’s nothing to be scared about,” he said.
“You’re simply going through the change”                                                                      Submitted by Stella

 

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

I had a problem yesterday, so I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over.

Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem. 
As he was walking away, I called after him, ‘So, what was wrong?
He replied, ‘It was an ID ten T error.’
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless enquired,
‘An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.’
Eric grinned…. ‘Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?
‘No,’ I replied.
‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it out.’?
So I wrote down:
ID10T

I used to like Eric, the little bastard.

If you’re not a senior yet then send this to one…                                                 Submitted by Ted

After getting all of Pope Benedict’s luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn’t travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.

‘Excuse me, Your Holiness,’ says the driver, ‘Would you please take your seat so we can leave?’

‘Well, to tell you the truth,’ says the Pope, ‘they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I’d really like to drive today.’

‘I’m sorry, Your Holiness, but I cannot let you do that. I’d lose my job! What if something should happen?’ protests the driver, wishing he’d never gone to work that morning..

‘Who’s going to tell?’ says the Pope with a smile.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 205 kms. (Remember, the Pope is German.)

‘Please slow down, Your Holiness!’ pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

‘Oh, dear God, I’m going to lose my license — and my job!’ moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

‘I need to talk to the Chief,’ he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he’s stopped a limo going 155 kph

‘So bust him,’ says the Chief.

‘I don’t think we want to do that, he’s really important,’ said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed,’ All the more reason!’ 

‘No, I mean really important,’ said the cop with a bit of persistence.

The Chief then asked, ‘who do you have there, the mayor?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

Chief: ‘ A senator?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’  

Chief: ‘The Prime Minister?’

Cop: ‘Bigger.’

‘Well,’ said the Chief, ‘who is it?’

Cop: ‘I think it’s God!’

The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, ‘What makes you think it’s God?’

Cop: ‘His chauffeur is the Pope!’                                                                                   Submitted by Stella
Four friends who hadn’t seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party…After several drinks, one of the men had to use the men’s room. Those who remained talked about their kids.

 The first guy said ‘My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the ladder. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he’s the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.’

The second guy said ‘Darn, that’s terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline then went to flight school to become a pilot.  Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets.  He’s so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.’

The third man said: ‘Well that’s terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire…

He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion’

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: ‘What are all the congratulations for?’

One of the three said: ‘We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons…  What about your son?’

The fourth man replied: ‘My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.’

The three friends said: ‘What a shame… What a disappointment.’ The fourth man replied: ‘No I’m not ashamed. He’s my son and I love him. And he hasn’t done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends’                                                                                                  Submitted by Stella

Subject: House of ill repute   See if you can work this out: There was a brothel at the top of a hill, with a large red light at the bottom of the hill.  There were four men…

One was walking briskly up the hill;
One was inside the brothel;
One was walking slowly down the hill and
The fourth man was sitting in his car at the bottom of the hill.

What were the nationalities of the four men?

 The man going up the hill: was rushin

* The man in the brothel: him-a-layin

* The man walking down the hill: was finish

* The man in the car at the bottom was a Newfie, and he was waiting for the light to turn green!  

Submitted by Stella      

A little boy was waiting for his mother to come out of the grocery store. As he waited, he was approached by a man who asked, “Son, can you tell me where the Post Office is?”

The little boy replied, “Sure! Just go straight down this street a coupla blocks and turn to your right.”

The man thanked the boy kindly and said, “I’m the new pastor in town.  I’d like for you to come to church on Sunday.     I’ll show you how to get to Heaven.”

The little boy replied with a chuckle. “Awww, come on… You don’t even know the way to the Post Office.”                                                                                                                               Submitted by Barbara

Colonoscopy

All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who the one in charge was.

“I should be in charge,” said the brain, “Because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen.”

“I should be in charge,” said the blood, “Because I circulate oxygen all over so without me you’d all waste away.”

“I should be in charge,” said the stomach,” Because I process food and give all of you energy.”

“I should be in charge,” said the legs, “because I carry the body wherever it needs to go.”

“I should be in charge,” said the eyes, “Because I allow the body to see where it goes.”

“I should be in charge,” said the rectum, “Because I’m responsible for waste removal.”

All the other body parts laughed at the rectum and insulted him, so in a huff, he shut down tight.

Within a few days, the brain had a terrible headache, the stomach was bloated, the legs got wobbly, the eyes got watery, and the blood was toxic. They all decided that the rectum should be the boss

The Moral of the story?  Even though the others do all the work…  The ass h*** is usually in charge   

Submitted by Barbara and Ted

 

A 3 year old boy was sitting on the toilet.  His mother thinks he has been in there long, so she goes in to see what’s up.

The little boy is gripping on to the toilet seat with his left hand and hitting himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says: “Billy, are you all right?  You’ve been in here for a while.”

Billy says: “I’m fine Mommy.  I just haven’t gone ‘Potty” yet.”

The Mother says:  “OK, you can stay here a few more minutes, but Billy why are you hitting yourself on the head?”

Billy says:  Works for Ketchup!”

Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight when Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.

The son said, “I don’t think you should take one Dad; they’re very strong and very expensive.”
“How much?” asked Grandpa.
“$10.00 a pill,” Answered the son.
“I don’t care,” said Grandpa, “I’d still like to try one, and before we leave in the morning, I’ll put the money under the pillow.”

Later the next morning, the son found $110 under the pillow. He called Grandpa and said, “I told you each pill was $10, not $110.

“I know,” said Grandpa.  “The hundred is from Grandma!”                                 Submitted by Barbara 

Eat Right!

Make sure you get your daily dose of fruit and veggies.  Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.

Get plenty of exercise because it builds your immune system. Walk for at least an hour a day, Go for a swim, take the stairs instead of the elevator etc. 

Wash your hands often.  If you can’t, keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around. Get lots of fresh air.  And open doors & windows whenever possible

Try to eliminate as much stress from your life as you can. 

Get plenty of rest or take the doctor’s approach. Think about it.  When you go for a flu jab, what do they do first? They clean your arm with alcohol…Why?  because Alcohol kills germs. 

So…I walk to the pub. (Exercise)

I put lime in my vodka…            (Fruit) 

Celery in my Bloody Mary        (veggies)

Drink outdoors on the patio… (Fresh air)

Tell rude jokes and laugh….      (Eliminate stress) 

Then I pass out.                        (Rest)

The way I see it… If you keep your alcohol levels up, Flu germs can’t get you!  As my grandmother always said, ‘A shot in the glass is better than one in the ass!’

Subject: I Believe.

I believe           that it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I believe…        That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I believe…        That you can keep going long after you think you can’t.

I Believe…        That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.

I Believe….       Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

I Believe…        That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, But, we are                          responsible for who we become.

Cat Lover or Not, this is Hysterical!
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I’m lying…  

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife’s wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. 

‘Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it.’ 

‘You know where the button is,’ I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam.   ‘Reset it yourself!’ 

‘But I’m scared!’ she persisted.  ‘What if it starts going and sucks me in?’ 

There was a meaningful pause and then, ‘C’mon, it’ll only take you a second.’ 

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behaviour as extremely cowardly. 

Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button.  It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn’t the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked me. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region. 

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a ‘fight or flight’ syndrome.  Men, in this predicament, choose only the ‘flight’ option; I know this from experience.  I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.  Now  there are not many things in this life worse than  finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor butt  naked in front of a group of ‘been-there,  done-that’ paramedics.  Even worse, having  been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were  all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their  work, all the while trying to suppress their  hysterical laughter……and not succeeding. 

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about.

‘What’s the matter?’   They all asked, ‘Cat got your tongue?’    If they only knew! 

Why is it that only the women laugh at this?                                                                   Submitted by Cheryl

 SCHEDULE FOR OCTOBER, 2011

(subject to change)

DATE                         TIME                          COST              EVENT

October 3                  10:15 – 11:15                                        Group Meeting

                                    11:30 – 12:00                                        Exercise

                                    12:00 – 01:00                                        lunch

                                    01:00 – 03:00                $3.00               MICHEL DEMERS- Live Beautifully

October 10               CENTRE CLOSED FOR THANKSGIVING

October 17                9:30 – 3:30                    $5.00               DAY TRIP – Autumn Colours – Knowlton

October 24                10:00 – 10:30                                        Coffee and Chat

                                    10:30 – 11:00                                        Computer Lesson

                                    11:00 – 12:00                                        Exercise

                                    12:00 – 01:00                                        lunch

                                    01:00 – 03:00                $3.00               MICHEL DEMERS- Live Beautifully

October 31                10:00 – 10:30                                        Coffee and Chat

                                    10:30 – 11:00                                        Computer Lesson

                                    11:00 – 12:00                                        Exercise

                                    12:00 – 01:00                                        lunch

                                    01:00 – 03:00                $3.00               MICHEL DEMERS- Live Beautifully

 

Note: We have asked for the bus for Oct 3rd or OCT 17TH for our trip to Knowlton.

The $5.00 fee is for the bus.   It does not cover lunch.

Schedule  for  November,  2011
DATE                         TIME                          COST              EVENT

 November 7                10:00 – 10:15                                        Coffee & Chat

                                    10:15 – 10:30                                        Group Meeting

                                  10:30 – 11:00                                        Remembrance Day Ceremony

                                    11:00 – 12:00                                        Exercise                                                                                          

                                    12:00 – 01:00                                        lunch

                                    01:00 – 03:00                $3.00               MICHEL DEMERS- Live Beautifully

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