February 2010 “OLD BONES” News

February 1, 2010

“OLD BONES” NEWSLETTER FEBRUARY 2010

Birthdays in the month of February

♫ Happy Birthday, God Bless you, Happy Birthday to you! ♫
Diane  Janet M  Jeannette  Miron  Cynthia (Hochelaga)

Jan 25 to Feb 03 – Cypress Tree
Cypress Tree (Faithfulness) — strong, muscular, adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesn’t necessarily like it, strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick-tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed.

Feb 04 to Feb 08 – Poplar Tree
Poplar Tree (Uncertainty) — looks very decorative, talented, not very self-confident, extremely courageous if necessary, needs goodwill and pleasant surroundings, very choosy, often lonely, great animosity, great artistic nature, good organizer, tends to lean toward philosophy, reliable in any situation, takes partnership seriously.

Feb 09 to Feb 18 – Cedar Tree
Cedar Tree (Confidence) — of rare strength, knows how to adapt, likes unexpected presents, of good health, not in the least shy, tends to look down on others, self-confident, a great speaker, determined, often impatient, likes to impress others, has many talents, industrious, healthy optimism, waits for the one true love, able to make quick decisions.

SMALL TOWN

The town was quietly nestled there
So peaceful and so small
No great white way, no taxicabs
No buildings grand and tall.

And yet it offered many things
That cities fail to give
A smile, a nod, a helping hand
A friendly way to live.

A small town where its people
Are working side by side
Where “Love thy neighbours” is not a phrase
It’s lived, personified

And though it’s called a small town
It is somewhat set apart
For it’s large in thought, in word, in deed
And very big at heart.

Jean Holmes
Submitted by Edith

The poem above, ‘Small Town’ submitted by Edith (thank you Edith) made me think of our little community – The words kept speaking to my heart. I felt that Jean Holmes could well have been writing about our Almage, St. Michel/Rosemount group.

I am ever so grateful to Diane for working so diligently through almost impossible situations to succeed in realizing financial security for us.

I am grateful to have the privilege of being a member of such an amazing group of people.

Each and every member of our little community is very dear to me. I have and always will have a very special place in my heart for each of you.

Thank you for being you.
Janet

CCS/ALMAGE, MONTREAL NORTH SATELLITE

We would like to send a big ‘Hello ‘and ‘Thank you’ to everyone at CCS/Almage, Montreal North Satellite for your support and kindness throughout the past two years. It has not gone unnoticed and/or unappreciated.

From all of us to all of you… Thank you!

UP-COMING EVENTS:

Much time has passed since we (St. Michel-Rosemount group) were warmly welcomed by Joanne, Sylvie and members of the Chenier Group to a day of fun and learning.

The purpose of the visit was to give our group an opportunity to practice French in a warm and welcoming atmosphere. Our gracious hosts welcomed and encouraged all of us. It was an enjoyable and successful day.

As a special “Thank you” to the very patient and kind members of Chenier group we are happily looking forward to returning their kindness by hosting a Valentine’s dinner for them at our center on February 8th. Our group is busy planning and preparing for our very exceptional guests.

ST. VALENTINE’S DAY
The celebrations of St. Valentine’s Day are steeped in legend and mystery; indeed the motives behind the day’s creation and even St. Valentine himself have been shrouded in controversy and doubt.

Saint Valentine’s Day embraces a time of year that is historically associated with love and fertility. It encompasses the sacred marriage of Zeus and Hera in Ancient Athens and the Ancient Roman festival of Lupercus, the god of fertility.

The priests of Lupercus would perform a traditional purification ritual, slaughtering goats to the god, and after consuming wine, they would run through the streets of Rome holding aloft the skins of the goats touching anyone they met. The occasion compelled floods of young women to the streets in the belief that being touched would improve their chances of conceiving and bring forth easy childbirth.

There remains some speculation over the exact date of the celebration. The first official Saint Valentine’s Day was declared on 14th of February by Pope Galasius in 496, in memory of a 3rd century martyred priest in Rome. It is not known for sure whether Pope Galasius was honouring this 3rd century priest or whether it was one of two other martyred priests associated with the 14th of February. One was Bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) and the other apparently suffered in Africa along with a number of companions. Nothing further is known about these two Saint Valentines and it is the priest in Rome that has become the most widely acclaimed of the three.

It is believed that the young priest rose to distinction after betraying Emperor Claudius in 270 AD by conducting illegitimate wedding ceremonies in the capital. Emperor Claudius claimed that married men made poor soldiers and consequently decreed that all marriages of younger citizens would be outlawed. Valentine, however, maintained that marriage was part of God’s plan and purpose for the world. He continued to conduct marriages in secret between young people, sometimes as young as twelve, in the name of love.

Valentines success gained him unwelcome notoriety which became his downfall. He was jailed and ultimately beheaded, but not before he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter. It is thought that on the evening of his execution he passed her a note which read “from your Valentine”. This story has blossomed into the defining tradition of Valentine’s Day. An estimated one billion cards sent each year, making it the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. It is said that the remains of St. Valentine rest in Ireland. Scotland also laid claim to having his remains. A few years ago it was suggested that DNA testing should be done to clear up the conflict.
LAUGHTER IS THE BEST MEDICINE

A Blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbour’s dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.

The Blonde jumps up out of bed and says, “I’ve had enough of this”. She goes downstairs.

She finally comes back up to bed and her husband says “The dog is still barking, what on earth you did?”

The Blonde triumphantly says, “I put the dog in our backyard, let’s see how THEY like it! Submitted by Dolores

WALKING INTO THE BAR, Mike said to Charlie the bartender,

“Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman.”

“Oh yeah?” said Charlie, “And how did this one end?”

When it was over,” Mike replied, “She came to me on her hands and knees.

“”Really,” said Charles, “Now that’s a switch! What did she say?”

She said, “Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.” Submitted by Barbara

F16 vs. C-130
A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by. The jet jockey decided to show off. The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, ‘watch this!’ and promptly went into a barrel roll followed by a steep climb. He then finished with a sonic boom as he broke the sound barrier.

The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot what he thought of that.

The C-130 pilot said, ‘That was impressive, but watch this!’

The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and then the C-130 pilot came back on and said:
‘What did you think of that?’

Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, ‘What the heck did you do?’

The C-130 pilot chuckled. ‘I stood up, stretched my legs, walked to the back, went to the bathroom, and then got a cup of coffee and a cinnamon bun.’

When you are young & foolish – speed & flash may seem a good thing!!! When you get older & smarter – comfort & dull is not such a bad thing!!!
Us old folks understand this one. Submitted by Barbara

THIS IS WHY OUR HEALTH CARE IS SO HIGH!!! This is ever so true!!!!!

Bubba Had Shingles Those of us who spend much time in a doctor’s office should appreciate this! Doesn’t it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices like an assembly line?

Here’s what happened to Bubba:

Bubba walked into a doctor’s office and the receptionist asked him what he had. Bubba said: ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.

Fifteen minutes later a nurse’s aide came out and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, ‘Shingles.’ So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told Bubba to wait in the examining room.

A half hour later a nurse came in and asked Bubba what he had. Bubba said, ‘Shingles.’ So the nurse gave Bubba a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, and told Bubba to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.

An hour later the doctor came in and found Bubba sitting patiently in the nude and asked Bubba what he had.

Bubba said, ‘Shingles.’ The doctor asked, ‘Where?’

Bubba said, ‘Outside on the truck. Where do you want me to unload ’em??’ Submitted by Dolores

A TRIP TO COSTCO

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think, I had an elephant? So since I’m retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn’t have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I’d lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish setter and a car hit us both. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won’t let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say
Submitted by Barbara

CONFESSIONAL

An Irishman goes into the confessional box after years of being away from the Church.
There’s a fully equipped bar with Guinness on tap. On the other wall is a dazzling array of the finest cigars and chocolates. Then the priest comes in.
“Father, forgive me, for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession, but I must first admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be.
“The priest replies: Get out. You’re on my side.” Submitted by Barbara

QUESTIONABLE

Two brooms were hanging in the closet and after a while they got to know each other so well, they decided to get married. One broom was, of course, the bride broom, the other the groom broom.

The bride broom looked very beautiful in her white dress.
The groom broom was handsome and suave in his tuxedo. The wedding was lovely.

After the wedding, at the wedding dinner, the bride-broom leaned over and said to the groom-broom,
‘I think I am going to have a little broom!’ ‘IMPOSSIBLE!’ said the groom broom.

‘WE HAVEN’T EVEN SWEPT TOGETHER!’ Submitted by Barbara

THIS IS INTERESTING! And to paraphrase W.C. Fields,

I don’t drink water, because fish poop in it.

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine… And those who don’t.
As Ben Franklin said: In wine there is wisdom, In beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) – bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop…

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.

Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of s…!.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I’m doing it as a public service!

Submitted by Dolores

STAY ALERT! They walk among us!

SEARS: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a ‘large’ enough motor on the opener.

I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a ½ horsepower.

He shook his head and said, ‘Lady, you need a 1/4horsepower.’ I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.

He said, ‘NO, it’s not. Four is larger than two.’ We haven’t used Sears repair since.

MCDONALDS, SURREY:
My daughter and I went through the McDonald’s take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’
I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a loonie back.’ She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said, we’re sorry but they could not do that kind of thing?
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD’s in Surrey, B.C.

BURNABY: I work for the city of Burnaby, B.C. We recently had a Burnaby taxpayer call the city’s Traffic Department to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on the Barnet Highway.

The reason? “Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don’t think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.”

VANCOUVER MALL:
My daughter went to Pacific Center mall food court and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for ‘minimal’ lettuce.’ He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. From the City of Vancouver

VANCOUVER AIRPORT: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
‘Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?’

To which I replied, ‘If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?’

He smiled knowingly and nodded, ‘That’s why we ask.’

PORT MOODY:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded,
“What on earth are blind people doing driving?!” She was a probation officer in Port Moody, BC

COQUITLAM: This happened at a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to ‘downsizing.’ Our manager commented cheerfully, “This is fun! We should do this more often.”
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlight stare.
This was a lunch at Coquitlam, B.C.

SURREY: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. …A clerk at the City of Surrey’s Court House, no less.

BURNABY: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
‘Hey,’ I announced to the technician, ‘its open!’
His reply, ‘I know. I already got that side.’
This was at the Coastal Ford dealership in Burnaby, B.C. Submitted by Barbara

FOR ALL EMPLOYEES WHO WORK WITH RUDE CUSTOMERS

An award should go to the Westjet gate attendant in Kelowna, British Columbia some 12 months ago for being smart and funny, while making her point, when confronted with a passenger who probably deserved to fly as cargo.

A crowded flight was cancelled after Westjet’s 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was re-booking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk.
He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said,

“I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS”.

The attendant replied, “I’m sorry, sir. I’ll be happy to try to help you, but I’ve got to help these people first, and I’m sure we’ll be able to work something out.”

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear,
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?”

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone:
“May I have your attention please; may I have your attention please, “she began – her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. “We have a passenger here at Gate 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Gate 14.”

With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the attendant, gritted his teeth and said, “…. You!”

Without flinching, she smiled and said, “I’m sorry, sir, but you’ll have to get in line for that too.”
Submitted by Barbara

Blessed Are The Cracked, For They Let In The Light!
Twenty-nine lines to make you smile
1. My wife and I divorced over religious differences. She thought she was God and I didn’t.
2. I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3. Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill them.
4. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5. Don’t take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6. You’re just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9. I’m not a complete idiot — Some parts are just missing.
10. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
12. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16. Being ‘over the hill’ is much better than being under it!
17. Wrinkled was not one of the things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18. Procrastinate Now!
19. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23. They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
26. Ham and eggs…A day’s work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27. The trouble with life is there’s no background music.
28. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29. I smile because I don’t know what is going on. Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too short and friends are too few! Submitted by Barbara

SISTER MARY ANN’S GASOLINE
Sister Mary Ann, who worked for a home health agency, was out making her rounds visiting homebound patients when she ran out of gas. As luck would have it, a Texaco Gasoline station was just a block away.

She walked to the station to borrow a gas can and buy some gas. The attendant told her that the only gas can he owned had been loaned out, but she could wait until it was returned. Since Sister Mary Ann was on the way to see a patient, she decided not to wait and walked back to her car.

She looked for something in her car that she could fill with gas and spotted the bedpan she was taking to the patient. Always resourceful, Sister Mary Ann carried the bedpan to the station,
filled it with gasoline, and carried the full bedpan back to her car.

As she was pouring the gas into her tank, two Baptists watched from across the street. One of them turned to the other and said,

‘If it starts, I’m turning Catholic.’

REMEMBER: SENIOR CITIZENS ARE VALUABLE:

We are more valuable than any of the younger generations: We have silver in our hair. We have gold in our teeth. We have stones in our kidneys. We have lead in our feet and. We are loaded with natural gas! Submitted by Ted

GOD BLESS THE NEWFIE

A Newfie calls up his lawyer and asks. “Wit all dem lawsuits Going on I’m feelin’ kinda left out. How do I get in on some of dat Action? I hears that people are suing the cigarette companies ’cause they Got cancer and others are suing the Big Mac company cause they got themselves fat and all kinds of stuff”!!

His lawyer asks “And which one of those categories do You fit under?” The dear ole Newfie God bless his soul
Answers…..”Neider b’y, I just wanna know if I can sue Molson’s for all them ugly women I woke up wit…
Submitted by Barbara

OLDER WOMEN ARE SO REASONABLE
After 44 years of marriage, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, ’44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old girl”.

Now I have a$1,500,000 home, a $45,000.00 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 65-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.’

My wife is a very reasonable woman told me to go out and find a hot 25-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crises.

DID YOU KNOW

That dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.
No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times. Oh go ahead…I’ll wait…
Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes or shark attacks. (So, watch your Ass )
You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.
The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley’s gum.
The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE
American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.
Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise. (Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you? ( That woman are going the ‘right’ direction…?)
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!
The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.
The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer. So did the first ‘Marlboro Man’.
Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!
Pearls dissolve in VINEGAR!
It is possible to lead a cow upstairs… but, not downstairs.
A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.
Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from a toilet to
avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. (I keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)
Turtles can breathe through their butts. (I know some people like that, don’t YOU?)
So……Remember, knowledge is everything, so pass it on…and go move your toothbrush!!! Barbara

THERE ARE FOUR THINGS THAT YOU CANNOT RECOVER IN LIFE:

(1) The Stone after it’s thrown,

(2) The Word after it’s said,

(3) The Occasion after it’s missed, and

(4) The Time after it’s gone.

THIS IS ONE OF THE KINDEST THINGS YOU MAY EVER SEE
It is not known who replied, but there is a beautiful soul working in the dead letter office of the US postal service
Our 14 year old dog, Abbey, died last month. The day after she died, my 4 year old daughter Meredith was crying and talking about how much she missed Abbey. She asked if we could write a letter to God so that when Abbey got to heaven, God would recognize her. I told her that I thought we could so she dictated these words:

Dear God,

Will you please take care of my dog? She died yesterday and is with you in heaven. I miss her very much. I am happy that you let me have her as my dog even though she got sick.

I hope you will play with her. She likes to play with balls and to swim. I am sending a picture of her so when you see her You will know that she is my dog. I really miss her.

Love, Meredith

We put the letter in an envelope with a picture of Abbey and Meredith and addressed it to God/Heaven. We put our return address on it. Then Meredith pasted several stamps on the front of the envelope because she said it would take lots of stamps to get the letter all the way to heaven. That afternoon she dropped it into the letter box at the post office. A few days later, she asked if God had gotten the letter yet. I told her that I thought He had.

Yesterday, there was a package wrapped in gold paper on our front porch addressed, ‘To Meredith’ in an unfamiliar hand. Meredith opened it. Inside was a book by Mr. Rogers called, ‘When a Pet Dies.’ Taped to the inside front cover was the letter we had written to God in its opened envelope. On the opposite page was the picture of Abbey & Meredith and this note:

Dear Meredith,

Abbey arrived safely in heaven.

Having the picture was a big help. I recognized Abbey right away.

Abbey isn’t sick anymore. Her spirit is here with me just like it stays in your heart. Abbey loved being your dog. Since we don’t need our bodies in heaven, I don’t have any pockets to keep your picture in, so I am sending it back to you in this little book for you to keep and have something to remember Abbey by.

Thank you for the beautiful letter and thank your mother for helping you write it and sending it to me. What a wonderful mother you have. I picked her especially for you.

I send my blessings every day and remember that I love you very much.

By the way, I’m easy to find, I am wherever there is love.

Love,

God Submitted by Barbara
IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER – by Erma Bombeck
(Written after she found out she was dying from cancer)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren’t there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn’t show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, ‘Later. Now go get washed up for dinner.’ There would have been more ‘I love you’s’ More ‘I’m sorry’s.’

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute. look at it and really see it. live it and never give it back. STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don’t worry about who doesn’t like you, who has more, or who’s doing what
Instead, let’s cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

MEMORIES from a friend:
My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother’s house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the end of the ironing board to ‘sprinkle’ clothes with because we didn’t have steam irons. Man, I am old. Submitted by Barbara

THE INVITATION BY ORIAH

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.
It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love for your dream for the adventure of being alive.
It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain – mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.
I want to know if you can be with joy mine or your own if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful to be realistic to remember the limitations of being human.
It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.
I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day.
And if you can source your own life from its presence.
I want to know if you can live with failure yours and mine and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon.
“Yes.” It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.
It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.
It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.
I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moment

THE HUMAN BODY! Very informative!

It takes your food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach.

One human hair can support 3kg (6.6 lb).

Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.

There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.

Women blink twice as often as men.

The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.

Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it. Submitted by Barbara
SOMEONE ASKED THE OTHER DAY;

‘What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?’
‘We didn’t have fast food when I was growing up,’ I informed him. ‘All the food was slow.’

‘C’mon, seriously. Where did you eat?’ ‘It was a place called ‘at home,” I explained. !
‘Mum cooked every day and when Dad got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn’t like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it.’

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage, so I didn’t tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table.

But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:

Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card.

They never drove me to school. I had a bicycle that weighed maybe 50 pounds, & only had one speed, slow.

We didn’t have a television in our house until I was 19. It was black and white, and the station went off the air at midnight, after playing the national anthem and a poem about God; it came back on the air at about 6 a.m. and there was usually a locally produced news and farm show on, featuring local people…

I never had a telephone in my room. The only phone was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn’t know weren’t already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home… But milk was. All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers –my brother delivered a newspaper, six days a week. He had to get up at 6AM every morning.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. There were no movie ratings because all movies were responsibly produced for everyone to enjoy viewing, without profanity or violence or most anything offensive.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don’t blame me if they bust a gut laughing. Growing up isn’t what it used to be, is it?

THOUGHT OF THE DAY:
Self respect is the root of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.”
Abraham Joshua Heschel

“Your goal in life should be to enjoy the highest levels of health and energy possible. This requires that you eat the right foods and fewer of them. It requires you to get regular exercise and move every joint of your body daily. To enjoy superb physical health, you must get lots of rest and recreation. Above all, you maintain a positive mental attitude, looking for the good in every situation, and remain determined to be a completely positive person.” Brian Tracy, the Power of Discipline Submitted by Dolores

PM’S CONCERN FOR MCGEE’S WIDOW HAD A PRICE Gazette, Tuesday, April 14, 1868.
By John Kalbfleisch. Gazette

The people of Montreal yesterday in scores of thousands followed to the grave all that was mortal of Thomas D’Arcy McGee.

Could popular homage have stirred his pulse less heart – if in the unexplored hereafter the dead can take cognizance of terrestrial things – his soul who sleeps behind Mount Royal must have felt a thrill of pleasure.

Never had Montreal seen such throngs pour into its streets as they did for the funeral of Thomas D’Arcy McGee. Crusading journalists, champions of the city’s Irish, the great orator of confederation and presumed successor of Prime Minister John A. MacDonald, he had been shot down the previous week in Ottawa as he reached his boarding house after a late-night sitting of Parliament.

Crowd estimates are notoriously unreliable. On that chilly Easter Monday, they ran from an absurdly low 6,000 all the way up to 100,000. The Gazette was confident that as many as 85,000 spectators looked on with another 8,000 to 10, 0000 in the funeral procession itself. Many thousands of people from the outlying regions, as well as from the political capitals of Ottawa and Quebec City, had flooded in for the event, but still, for a city whose population scarcely touched 100.000, it was a staggering turnout.

Some doubtless were merely curious. A few, perhaps, came out of grim satisfaction: Irish nationalists who felt McGee had got what he deserved for resisting their efforts to fight Britain on Canadian soil: or Protestant Orangemen who felt, by contrast, that he had been too sympathetic to such aspirations. But most were there for nobler reasons: to show respect, even love, for McGee and to defy the violence that had claimed his life.

It was widely believed he had been the victim of a Fenian conspiracy, and the following February a Montreal tailor named Patrick James Whelan would go to the gallows for the crime. Some claim to this day that Whelan, a presumed Fenian who admirably filled the need for a tidy end to the affair, was in fact, innocent.

The Gazette went all out to cover McGee’s funeral, devoting column after column to describing every conceivable detail of the somber event. Unusually for the paper in those days, the story was illustrated; there was an engraving of the elaborately decorated horse-drawn hearse, as well as a portrait of McGill himself.

We can’t know for certain who was responsible for the coverage for there were no bylines. But it seems likely the pen was held by Brown Chamberlin, the Gazette’s owner and editor. Chamberlin was also an MP and a political ally of McGee, and it was he more than the unusually dumbfounded Macdonald or the pugnacious George Etienne Carter – who had given the most moving tribute to their slain colleague in the Commons.

The funeral procession began at 9:40 am outside McGee’s house on Ste. Catherine St, near the corner of Drummond, where his body had been waked for three days. Scarlet clad soldiers held back the crowds, which had been gathering for hours, many people craned from windows, and even the rooftops. The cortege included the mayor and other civil officials, members of the provincial and federal governments, judges, clergy and representatives of foreign countries, universities and the professions.

There was tension over the order which the various national societies would appear. Eventually the St George’s Society gave way to the Society St. Jean Baptiste, on the strict understanding that no precedent was being set, and between them marched the St. Patrick’s Society, just in front of the Irish Benevolent Society.
As the head of the procession turned down Bleury St, the tail had still not reached Peel St. Many houses along the route were draped entirely in black.
There were two services, the first in St. Patrick’s , where the McGee family had worshiped and where a Canadian flag today marks their pew, and then at Notre Dame in Place d’Armes. At both the officiating priests extolled McGee’s virtues, both as a Christian and as a servant of the public, and condemned the conspirators presumed responsible for his death.

The final stage came late in the day as the procession made its way up the mountain to the cemetery. “We passed through the forest of marble, “The Gazette reported, “and in the vault we left him, to sleep under the newly turned earth, with his imperishable fame.

In his Commons tribute an obviously shaken Macdonald had said, “He was too good, too generous to be rich. Yet he has left us a sacred legacy, & we must look upon his widow and children now as belonging to the state.”

After the funeral, Brown Chamberlin used the Gazette to launch a fund to provide for McGee’s improvised
Widow, Mary. As it happened much of the expense of the funeral was borne by the city of Montreal. But when the undertaker presented the bill to Mary McGee, she in despair passed it on to the prime minister. Macdonald, forgetting his earlier words, turned to Chamberlin, saying that the government had no funds available for such a purpose.

The fund organized by Chamberlin eventually collected money from all corners of the young nation. He made certain that some was used to pay the bill that Ottawa would not. Submitted by Frank

LIFE IN CANADA – As seen from the outside world

Question: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
Answer: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you’ve been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto – can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only 4,000 miles. Take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM’s (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: No, but you’d better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippopotamus racing in Canada? (USA)
A: AFRICA is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. CANADA is that big country to your North …oh forgets it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England) A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys’ Choir schedule? (USA)
A: AUSTRIA is that quaint little country bordering GERMANY, which is…oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tues. night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? (Germany) A: No, WE don’t stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada ? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in B. C. where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? (USA) A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It’s kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It’s called a MOOSE. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada will host the 2010 Winter Olympics. These are some questions people from all over the world are asking. Believe it or not, these are actual questions about Canada that were posted on an International Tourism Website. Answers are from an anonymous Canadian.
(Tammie O’Rielly, Shaumbra in Kelowna, Canada Submitted by Ted

Quotes: Submitted by Ted

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile. Vince Lombardi

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” – Winston Churchill

BE WELL. BE HAPPY… ENJOY YOUR DAY!

Comments

2 Responses to “February 2010 “OLD BONES” News”

  1. Axel on February 5th, 2010 11:25 pm

    I want to receive your newsletter.

  2. Janet on February 6th, 2010 4:08 pm

    Hi Andy,
    Thank you for your inquiry.
    Unfortunately, the newsletter is not sent out to a mailing list. Having said that, I will be happy to send you a copy via email.
    It is published at the beginning of each month.
    All the Best

    Janet

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