Funniest car insurance excuses

June 26, 2011

┬áIan Crowder from the AA (the British equivalent to CAA) recalls the time he was faced with an insurance claim from a woman who had been driving her Audi convertible in the countryside, when a squirrel dropped out of a tree and into the passenger seat. She was so surprised – and don’t say you wouldn’t have been! – she swerved and ended up hitting a tree, writing off the car.

He, this motorist thought his, “I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way,” was justification to exonerate him from any wrongdoing. Uhhh, nope.

It seems many accidents are caused by animals, but no one could have predicted what happened to an unsuspecting motorist as he drove home from the pub with a friend.

“A sheep had escaped from a lorry which had overturned on the overpass and in fright it jumped over the railing, landing on the bonnet of my car. The sheep was unscathed and ran off, which is more than can be said for the car; it was a write-off.”

Here’s another excuse made even more hilarious by the way it was written. “I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.”

One hapless contractor left his dog sitting in the passenger seat of his van when he dashed into a fast-food restaurant. When he came out the van had disappeared, along with the dog. Apparently, the dog’s collar got caught on the handbrake, and, for reasons which the driver will never know, released the handbrake allowing the van to roll down the hill into a line of parked cars. The dog, you’ll be pleased to read, was unharmed.

When all else fails, blame the car shrouded in a mystical cloak which makes it impossible to be detected by the human eye. One driver claimed the following: “An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.” We’re not sure what type of insurance he had but presumably he was covered for third party – fire and stealth.

The importance of ensuring items being carried on a roof rack are tied down securely is highlighted in our next case. This unlucky motorist wrote on his claim form: “I was driving home from Christmas shopping when I saw a car coming from the opposite direction with a large Christmas tree badly tied to the roof. He was driving too fast and I saw the tree lift off and it flew straight at me. The trunk made a great dent in my hood and caused me to run off the road and into a hedge. The chap didn’t stop and he never came back for his tree so the police said we might as well have it. It wasn’t funny at the time, but looking back it was like a comedy sketch.”

This driver found himself going the wrong way up a one-way street. And even after he had an accident with a motorist travelling in the correct direction, he still wasn’t going to admit fault. Fiercely adamant it wasn’t his fault, his description of the incident was, “the other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.”

We’ve all been there. Seeing the cherries flashing in the rear-view mirror and wondering if you have enough patience, skill and chutzpah to try and talk your way out of a ticket. The key is being prepared, though. Having a standard answer in your mind beforehand will keep you from looking foolish, and keep you off MSN Autos Canada’s list of worst speeding excuses.

Apparently insulting an officer isn’t an effective tool for getting out of a traffic stop … When the officer asks why you were going so fast, don’t reply: “Tim Hortons has half-price donuts down the road and I was clearing the way for you.” It might make you chuckle, but it won’t win you any points with the officer – other than demerits, that is!


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