October 2009 “OLD BONES” News

November 14, 2009


JANET, Editor “Old Bones News” – email janetstubbert@hotmail.com

Birthdays in the month of October

♫ Happy Birthday, ♫ God Bless you, ♫ Happy Birthday to you! ♫
 Eva  A. Edith Glenna, Mtl. North 

Oct 04 to Oct 13 – Rowan Tree
Rowan Tree (Sensitivity) — full of charm, cheerful, gifted without egoism, likes to draw attention, loves life, motion, unrest, and even complications, is both dependent and independent, good taste, artistic, passionate, emotional, good company, does not forgive.

Oct 14 to Oct 23 – Maple Tree
Maple Tree (Independence of Mind) — no ordinary person, full of imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-confident, hungers f or new experiences, sometimes nervous, has many complexities, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress

Oct 24 to Nov 11 – Walnut Tree
Walnut Tree (Passion) — unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egotistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromise.

St Michel/Rosemount

Elizabeth suffered from a serious set back following her surgery. I am happy to say she is feeling much better and that she is on her way to good heath.

Angela was on her way to the centre on the 14th and I am sorry to report she had another fall. She is resting and taking care of it at home. Hopefully no serious damage was done.

Ted unfortunately is suffering from sciatica. On Monday the 14th he drove to the Centre to join us but regrettably he couldn’t find a parking place.

Elizabeth, Angela, and Ted: You are missed by all of us. We wish you a very speedy recovery and return to your friends here at the centre.

Kudos to Janet the Editor of “Old Bones” the newsletter of Almage St. Michel/Rosemount, and also to its contributors.

I have thoroughly enjoyed the good ideas, the thought provoking articles and the hilarious jokes.

If “laughter is the best medicine” we should be blessed with good health and happiness for years to come.
Keep up the good work!



Conference: The Italian Canadian Community Services in collaboration with Centre Leonardo da Vinci Presents a Conference on Health of the thyroid. .Thursday, October 29th at 7pm
Free entrance /Coffee and cookies. All are welcome.
8370 boulevard Lacordaire, 2nd floor, St. Leonard (north of Jarry St) for information call 514 274-946

Apple picking: If you would like to do a write-up re Quinn Farm we would greatly appreciate it.

LEANING TIPS from Dolores
Salt to the Rescue: If you spill something in a hot oven cover the area with salt. When the oven cools the spill should lift off.
To remove RUST stains from your dishwasher put a package (or two) of “tang” through the regular cycle. It will remove the rust stains.

distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor’s office. ‘Is it true,’ she wanted to know, ‘that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life?’ ”Yes, I’m afraid so,’ the doctor told her.

There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, ‘I’m wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked ‘NO REFILLS’.’ Submitter by Ted

ummery: August 31, 2009 by Dolores
What a surprise upon opening the door to our meeting room, there was light, natural light. The adjoining room with windows wall to wall and ceiling to floor was not being used and the partition was open. We were told we could use it for the day. The chairs were quickly set up in a circle and the day began with the usual chit chat about this and about that, the kind of banter that happens when people who have not seen each other for a week meet.

Barbara did the flexibility exercises. In between every three or four exercises a joke was told. Example: two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted.

We then had lunch – After lunch a discussion was held in order to exchange information on apple picking places and where we should go. A decision could not be made so Barbara is going to check into some places closer to the center. A decision will definitely be made the next time we meet.

After lunch Dolores took a picture for the ABCD (Assets Based Community Development) Project pamphlet. The group danced to Cab Driver and snap the deed was done and everyone looked so professional.

Dances we did: Cab Driver – another time to a different tune, Continental, A Mi Me Gusta, Akey Breakey Dance

The new dance of the day was a four by four called Horse and Buggy. Thanks to Janet who helped the horses’ turn when they were supposed to turn and for keeping the buggy going straight. Not in the beginning but after a few turns around the room things were going smooth. The ones who did not dance enjoyed themselves just the same watching the fun we were having while learning.

Days of interest, this month

October 12, Thanksgiving Day in Canada has been a holiday on the second Monday of October since 1957.
It is a chance for people to give thanks for a good harvest and other fortunes in the past year.

October 31, Halloween

Halloween is celebrated in Canada on or around October 31. Halloween in Canada stems from Celtic origins. It is a day to mark the single night in the year when, according to old Celtic beliefs, spirits and the dead can cross over into the world of the living.

In pre-Christian times, many people believed that spirits from the underworld and ghosts of the dead could visit the world of the living on the night of October 31. These spirits could harm the living or take them back to the underworld. To avoid this, people began dressing up as ghosts and spirits if they left their homes on October 31. They hoped that this would confuse the ghosts and spirits.

Halloween was also a time, when spirits might give messages to people. In some areas, it was traditional for unmarried girls to poor molten lead into water. The shape that the lead took when it hardened was seen as a clue to the professions of their future husbands. Halloween traditions were brought to Canada by Irish and Scottish immigrants. Halloween is now celebrated in a range of other countries, including the United States, the United Kingdom, Ireland and Australia.


This works great!! Good for when all your family is together. The best part is that no one has to wait for their special omelet!

Have guests write their name on a quart-size Ziploc freezer bag with permanent marker.

Crack 2 eggs (large or extra-large) into the bag (not more than 2) shake to combine them.

Put out a variety of ingredients such as: cheeses, ham, onion, green pepper, tomato, hash browns, salsa, etc.

Each guest adds prepared ingredients of choice to their bag and shakes it. Make sure to get the air out of the bag and zip it up.

Place the bags into rolling, boiling water for exactly 13 minutes [we did 15 minutes]. You can usually cook 6-8 omelets in a large pot. For more, make another pot of boiling water.

Open the bags and the omelet will roll out easily. Be prepared for everyone to be amazed.

Nice to serve with fresh fruit and coffee cake; everyone gets involved in the process and a great conversation piece.

Imagine having these ready the night before, and putting the bag in boiling water while you get ready. And in 15 minutes, you’ve got a nice omelet for a quick breakfast!!!
Submitted by Dolores

WATER OR COKE? Summary of Rumor:

The Truth: While TruthOrFiction.com cannot vouch for the accuracy of all of the sources of these statements, they have not been plucked out of thin air. This popularly circulated email about water sounds exaggerated and without foundation, but it is actually a summary of a magazine article that appeared in WOMEN’S WORLD magazine in July of 2000.

Some of the article is based on the work of Dr. Feyedoon Batmanghelidj. Dr. Batmanghelidj is a London-educated physician who was a political prisoner in Iran in 1979 and whose job was to provide medical care for the thousands of prisoners who were awaiting trial or, in some cases, execution. It was there that he collected more than 3,000 case histories of people who he feels were remarkably helped by drinking increased amounts of water and whose variety of ailments he felt were related to dehydration. He is the author of a book titled Your Body’s Many Cries for Water.

The ‘Women’s World’ article also draws upon research from: the University of Utah, Connecticut, cardiologist Stephen T. Sinatra, M.D., author of Optimum Health, the University of Washington, Baylor College of Medicine, and others. The cancer statistics are from Seattle’s Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center and British researchers.

Coke: The Truth: There is a list of allegations. We’ll try to take them one at a time. Refer to the full version below for the details.

Critics of Coke (and some other soft drinks) say that if the beverages will do corrosive things, why drink them?

Defenders, including the folks at Coca-Cola, say there are many foods that have substances like acids in them such as fruit juices and buttermilk, and that the body seems to handle them just fine. The operative substance is phosphoric acid, which, in pure form, can eat through metal. Edible acids, however, should not be compared with them, according to the defenders.

Here is the list.


1. 75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.

2. In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.

3. Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%.

4. One glass of water will shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University of Washington study.

5. Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.

6. Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.

7. A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.

8. Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50%less likely to develop bladder cancer.


1. The highway patrol carrying Coke to clean up blood at car accidents. Unproven! If this is true, we haven’t found it.

2. A t-bone steak will be eaten away by Coke in two days. Unproven!

3. Clean a toilet with Coke. Truth! According to www.howtocleananything.com, the popular household hint guru Mary Ellen says some coke in the toilet for an hour can do the trick.

4. Remove stains from vitreous china. Truth! According to columnist Heloise

5. Use Coke and a ball of aluminum foil for rust on chrome. Truth! According to Joey Greene’s www.wackyuses.com

6. Clean corrosion from car battery terminals. Truth! This is true of a lot of carbonated beverages.

7. Use a Coke-soaked cloth to loosen a rusted bolt. Truth! According to Mary Ellen.

8. Use a can of Coke in a load of greasy laundry. Truth! According to Mary Ellen.

9. Dissolve a nail in 4 days in Coke. Unproven!

10. Hazardous materials signs are required on trucks carrying Coke concentrate.

TruthOrFiction.com reader Marilyn writes:

“My husband and I drive the big rigs and often carried Pepsi products…and it is true of all soda in the concentrated form…YES we did have to put the hazardous placards up for the load. Also the driver has to have passed the hazardous material test and have that on his CDL’s (Commercial Driver’s License)

10 Reasons Why You Need New Shoes

1 Because they are on sale.
2 In the game of life, the woman with the most shoes wins.
3 To match your dress, top, pants, suit, coat, socks, shorts, jewelry, purse, scarf, hat, and/or mood.
4 You can never have enough different shades of red.
5 The chunky black sandals that were cool and trendy last season are now hopelessly “soccer mom”
6 So if you find a plaid handbag, you won’t have to remember where you saw the matching pumps.
7 Shoe shopping is your calling.
8 This year’s black espadrilles are SO much more chic than last year’s black espadrilles.
9 Because you’ve worn all the ones you have.
10 Who needs a reason to buy new shoes? Submitted by Erika, Mtl. North

THE CONTROL TOWER at Magillicuddy’s Airport in the Western Isles received a frantic call from the pilot of an aircraft in trouble out in the Atlantic. “Pilot to tower…pilot to tower, I am 100 miles from land at 600 feet and running out of fuel….Mayday, Mayday…Please instruct…..repeat, please instruct.” Sandy McGinchy was in charge of the control tower that day and he responded: “Tower to pilot….. tower to pilot…..repeat after me…
Our Father, which art in heaven…….”
A TEACHER was doing a study testing the senses (taste)

The children began to identify the flavors by their color:
Red…………………Cherry, Yellow…….Lemon, Green………………Lime, Orange…………Orange

Finally the teacher gave them all HONEY lifesavers. None of the children could identify the taste.

The teacher said, ‘I will give you all a clue. It’s what your mother may sometimes call your father.’

One little girl looked up in horror, spit her lifesaver out and yelled, ‘Oh my God! They’re ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave the room. Submitter by Barbara


A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he could have beaten the red light by accelerating through the intersection.

The tailgating woman was furious and honked her horn, screaming in frustration, as she missed her chance to get through the intersection, dropping her cell phone and makeup.

As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a very serious police officer. The officer ordered her to exit her car with her hands up.

He took her to the police station where she was searched, fingerprinted, photographed, and placed in a holding cell. After a couple of hours, a policeman approached the cell and opened the door.20 She was escorted back to the booking desk where the arresting officer was waiting with her personal effects.

He said, ‘I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him.’ I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do’ bumper sticker, the ‘Choose Life’ license plate holder, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday-School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk, naturally…

I assumed you had stolen the car.’ Submitter by Barbara


Joe grew up in Shaunavon, SK, and then moved to Saskatoon to attend law school. He decided to come back to Shaunavon because he felt he could be a big shot at home. He really wanted to impress everyone, so he returned and opened his new law office.

The first day he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived. As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking on the phone.

“No. Absolutely not! You tell those clowns in Toronto that we won’t settle this case for less than one million. Yes, the Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I’ll be handling the primary arguments and the other members of my team will provide support. Okay, tell the Crown Attorney that I’ll meet with him next week to discuss the details.”

The ‘conversation’ went on for almost five minutes. All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions. Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man, “I’m sorry for the delay but as you can see, I’m very busy. What can I do for you?”

The man replied, “I’m from SaskTel and I came to hook up your phone.” Submitted by Barbara


Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers, and prospered. Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, “I had a big house built for Mama.”

The second said, “I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house.”

The third said, “I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her.”

The fourth said, “You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can’t read anymore because she can’t see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible.
It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it.”

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote: “Milton, the house you built is so huge I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway.”

“Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks.”

“Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I’ve lost my hearing and I’m nearly blind. I’ll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same.”

Dearest Bob, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift… The chicken was delicious. Thank you.”

Luv Ya,
Mama Submitted by Ted

DON’T ASK unless you know the answer

During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director how you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

“Well,” said the Director, “we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.”

“Oh, I understand,” I said. “A normal person would use the bucket because it’s bigger than the spoon or the teacup.”

“No” said the Director, “A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?
Submitted by Ted


I met this guy while in the USA and he has a motto he lives by everyday. He said listen carefully and live by these 4 rules: Drink, Steal, Swear, & Lie.

I was shaking my head ‘no’, but he then told me to listen while he explained his four rules. So here they are:

1. DRINK from the ‘springs of living water’ every day.

2. STEAL a moment to help someone that is in worse shape than you are.

3. SWEAR that you will be a better person today than yesterday.

4. And last, but not least, when you LIE down at night thank God you live in Canada or the USA and have freedom.

I am not as good as I should be. I am not as good as I could be. But THANK GOD I am better than I used to be! Submitted by Dolores

TWO OLD GUYS are pushing their carts around Wal-Mart when they collide.
The first old guy says to the second guy, ‘Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.’

The second old guy says, ‘That’s OK, it’s a coincidence. I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.’

The first old guy says, ‘Well, maybe I can help you find her. What does she look like?’

‘ The second old guy says, ‘Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?’

To which the first old guy says, ‘Doesn’t matter, let’s look for yours.’ Submitted by Ted

I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the airport. ~
I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds out, she’ll kill me! ~
What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she’s making love? “Honey, I’m home!” ~
Submitted by Dolores
Father’s Wisdom

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned
Surgeon, perform the operation. As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.
‘Yes, Dad, what is it? ‘

‘Don’t be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn’t go well, if something happens to me,
your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife.’ Submitted by Ted

Who’s responsible?

Callum McCallum had applied for a promotion and was being interviewed by the Personnel Manager who pointed out that he was looking for a person who was completely responsible. Callum brightened at that and commented: “Then I’m the man for the job. Everywhere I work, whenever something goes wrong, they always tell me that I was responsible…”

Philosophy: Hector was regaling his friends with his erudite observations on life and the universe (as he tended to do after a “bevy” in the Auchenshuggle Arms) and pronounced: “The man, who thinks he knows it all, is a pain in the neck to those of us who really do.”

Zen Teachings

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

13. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience … and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass …then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night
Submitter by Barbara

IF WE COULD shrink the earth’s population to a village of precisely 100 people, with all the existing human ratios remaining the same, it would look something like the following:

There would be:
57 Asians 21 Europeans 8 Africans.

14 from the Western Hemisphere both north and south
52 would be female 48 would be male
70 would be non-white 30 would be write
6 People would possess 59% of the entire world’s wealth and All 6 would be from the United States.
80 would live in substandard housing
70 would be non Christian 30 would be Christian
89 would be heterosexual 11 would be homosexual
70 would be unable to read 50 would suffer from malnutrition
1 would be near death 1 would be near birth
1 (Yes, only 1) would have a college education
1 would own a computer

When one considers our world from such a compressed perspective, the need for acceptance, understanding and education becomes glaringly apparent.

The following is also something to ponder…
If you woke up this morning with more health then illness… You are more blessed then the million who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation… You are ahead of 500 million people in the world.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death… You are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you have food in your refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep… You are richer that 75% of this world.

If your parents are still alive and still married… You are very rare, even in the United States and Canada.

If you can read this message… You are more blessed than over two billion people in the world that cannot read at all. Submitted by Sue


One day an expert in time management was speaking to a group of business students and, to drive home a point, used an illustration those students will never forget. As he stood in front of the group of high powered overachievers he said, “Okay, time for a quiz.”

He pulled out a one-gallon, wide-mouthed Mason jar and set it on the table in front of him. Then he produced about a dozen fist-sized rocks and carefully placed them, one at a time, into the jar. When the jar was filled to the top and no more rocks would fit inside, he asked,

“Is this jar full?”

Everyone in the class said, “Yes.”

Then he said, “Really?”

He reached under the table and pulled out a bucket of gravel. Then he dumped some gravel in and shook the jar causing pieces of gravel to work themselves down into the space between the big rocks. Then he asked the group once more, “Is the jar full?”

By this time the class was on to him. “Probably not,” one of them answered. “Good!” he replied.

He reached under the table and brought out a bucket of sand. He started dumping the sand in the jar and it went into all of the spaces left between the rocks and the gravel. Once more he asked the question,

“Is this jar full?”

“No!” the class shouted.

Once again he said, “Good.”

Then he grabbed a pitcher of water and began to pour it in until the jar was filled to the brim. Then he looked at the class and asked, “What is the point of this illustration?”

One eager beaver raised his hand and said, “The point is, no matter how full your schedule is, if you try really hard you can always fit some more things in it!”

“No,” the speaker replied,” that’s not the point.

The truth this illustration teaches us is: If you don’t put the big rocks in first, you’ll never get them in at all.”

What are the ‘big rocks’ in your life? Your children; your loved ones; your education; your dreams; A worthy cause; Teaching or mentoring others; Doing things that you love; time for yourself; your health; your significant other?

Remember to put these BIG ROCKS in first or you’ll never get them in at all

Lucky – Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named ‘Lucky.’

Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.

Mary or Jim would go to Lucky’s toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky’s other favorite toys. Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told her she was going to die of this disease….in fact; she was just sure it was fatal.

She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders. The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her…what would happen to Lucky?

Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary’s dog through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He won’t understand that I didn’t want to leave him! The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable.

Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital. When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn’t even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap.

Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn’t come to her when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed.

When Mary woke for a second she couldn’t understand what was wrong. She couldn’t move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life.

He had covered her with his love.

Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day. It’s been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.

Remember….live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a blessing from God. And never forget. the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones who care for us.

If you see someone without a smile today give them one of yours! Live simply. Love seriously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God! Submitter by Barbara


The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?’

I laughed and enthusiastically responded; ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant squeeze.

‘Why are you in college at such a young innocent age”’ I asked. She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…’

‘No seriously, ‘I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

‘I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this ‘time machine’ as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon. She easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up & she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the, microphone and simply said, ‘I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know.’

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘! We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anyone can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.’

She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

These words have been passed along in loving memory of Rose.

Remember, growing older is mandatory. Growing up is optional. We make a living by what we get; we make a life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Submitted by Sue

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one, which has been opened for us.

Don’t go for looks; they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.

Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end,
you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Don’t count the years-count the memories………..

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take; but by the moments that take our breath away!

Change Your Thinking

It will take just 37 seconds to read this and change your thinking…

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room.

One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs.
His bed was next to the room’s only window.

The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end.

They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation…

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake.

Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by.

Although the other man could not hear the band – he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep.

She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside.
He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall.
She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”


There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.

Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can’t buy. “Today is a gift. That is why it is called “The Present”.

His name was Fleming

He was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to make a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself. Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death.

The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman’s sparse surroundings… An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy Farmer Fleming had saved.

“I want to repay you,” said the nobleman. “You saved my son’s life.”

“No, I can’t accept payment for what I did,” the Scottish farmer replied waving off the offer. At that moment, the farmer’s own son came to the door of the family hovel.

“Is that your son?” the nobleman asked.

“Yes,” the farmer replied proudly.

“I’ll make you a deal. Let me provide him with the level of education my own son will enjoy. If the lad is anything like his father, he’ll no doubt grow to be a man we both will be proud of.” And that he did.

Farmer Fleming’s son attended the very best schools and in time, graduated from St. Mary’s Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of Penicillin Years afterward, the same nobleman’s son who was saved from the bog was stricken with pneumonia. What saved his life this time? Penicillin.

The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son’s name? Sir Winston Churchill

JOE BEEF: There were bears in Joe’s cellar 1976 by Edgar Andrew Collard

The bears in the cellar were only one of the oddities in Joe Beef’s tavern – The Crown and the Scepter. It is still there, down by the waterfront, on the northwest corner of Common and Callieres Streets.
The bears were only part of Joe Beef’s menagerie. He had a buffalo in the cellar, 10 monkeys, a young alligator, three raccoons, a porcupine, two parrots, It was said that he had once “kept a much larger collection; in fact at one time or another he had almost every species of animal.”

Some people even said that Joe kept not a menagerie of animals; he kept a human menagerie as well. And the claim had some truth in it. A more varied collection of human oddities was probably to be seen no where else in the city, perhaps in few parts of the world.

The Crown and Scepter was not only a tavern, where drinks could b e had at a bar; it was something between hotel and a flophouse. In this rather small stone building by the waterfront Joe had sleeping accommodation for 125 guests.”

Most of the guests were broken down drifters, men who were habitual bums, professional beggars. A few were men who had known better days, were hard on their luck

Joe liked to play tricks on his visitors. Those who were regulars knew what he was up to and learned not to fall into his traps.

Over the years opinion differed about Joe Beef and his tavern. Some characterized him as an utterly wicket man, a bad influence. Others saw streaks of goodness, charity and humanity in Joe’s strange makeup. In an age when social services were rudimentary, his tavern was something of a refuge for the down and out. …The cost of a room was 10 cents. If a man couldn’t pay for a room he might be given one anyway…There was always a stack of bread on the counter of Joe’s bar. Any man could help himself, for nothing. A” man with no where else to go could always go to Joe’s. He wouldn’t be thrown out into the cold.

Joe always showed interest in wider causes. In his room there was a box for the Notre Dame Hospital and one for the Montreal General. Joe went out to help when the men at the cotton mill or working on the Lachine canal went on strike. He brought them loaves of bread by the thousands and soup by the gallon.

Joe was not always opposed to evangelical efforts. He invited a Presbyterian minister who came to preach in his bar to come back anytime. He even promised a nights lodging and a breakfast all free to anyone who in his tavern who would go with the missionary to attend service at his mission.

Strange, inconsistent, equivocal cynical, kind hearted Joe Beef No one could quite figure him out…..
Submitted by Frank

McGill University:

When James McGill died in 1813 he bequeath his Burnside country estate and an endowment for the foundation of a college to be called “McGill College” after him.

As one enters the campus through the main gates on Sherbrooke Street they pass through the Roddick gates. They were built on the site of the original gatehouse, donated in 1924 by Lady Amy Redpath Roddick in memory of her husband, Sir Thomas George Roddick, a renowned doctor who began the regular practice of sterile surgery using antiseptics. Because punctuality was important to him his wife decided a fitting memorial would be an entrance gate with a clock tower with chimes. Ironically, the clocks and chimes occasionally stop with each of the four faces telling a different time.

On the left we pass the McLennan and Red path Libraries. On the wall of the library at the McTavish Street entrance between the McLennan and Redpath Libraries is this quote

“Beholding the bright countenance of truth in the quiet & still air of delightful studies.”

In front of the library is the flag football field & across from it on the right is a statue commissioned to celebrate McGill University’s 175th year. The statue is of Mr. James McGill looking hale & healthy with coat tail flowing out behind him as if he were having a stroll through campus. Behind him are various building; Burnside Hall, Mac Donald Stewart Library, MacDonald Harrington Bldg, and the McDonald Engineering Building.

Further up on the left is the wonderful sculpture of three unclad males that staff members lovingly refer to as the three bares. Forming a backdrop for the sculpture is the Redpath Museum and the oldest of the university buildings the Arts Building. Inside the museum you will find a very old and very interesting mummy.

In front of the Arts Building stands a monument. If you were to stop to read the inscription you will no doubt be surprised because it is the resting place of the wonderful Scot himself, Sir James McGill.
“Peacefully he slumbers there, blissful though we’re on the tear”
After Mr. McGill death in 1813, his remains were interred in the Protestant Burying Ground on Dorchester Street. In 1873, the city expropriated the cemetery to make room for a public square. The University arranged for removal of the monument and the remains of James McGill to the current site in front of the Arts Building. In 1875, the new site was consecrated by the Church of England.

When a gingko tree, a gift from Japan died in 1967 it was replaced with a commemorative garden dedicated in grateful remembrance of the sacrifices made by members of McGill University in the 2nd World War

Frosh week is always an exciting time on campus. Last night the atmosphere was alive with activity. My daughter reported that the grounds were decorated with small white lights and flowers were seen everywhere. Musicians were packing up their instruments and a long line of students were waiting to buy hot dogs and hamburgers as the concert drew to an end

A group of 10 or more students sitting on the stair were having a wonderful time singing. They really did a fine job of “California Dreaming…with lovely harmonies and all… Thank you, Mr. James McGill.

ANADIAN TIRE ‘MONEY’ Founded in 1922, Canadian Tire Corporation is a growing network of interrelated businesses with more than 1,100 general merchandise and apparel retail stores and gas stations in addition to a major financial services provider and a federally chartered bank.

Each series of new Canadian Tire ‘Money’ is catalogued, tracked, collected and even hoarded by people not just in Canada but around the world. Rare bills are even considered to be valuable among collectors, prompting the establishment of organizations such as the Canadian Tire Coupon Collectors Club.

The first series of Cdn. Tire ‘Money’ symbolized their image from an 1920 store sign. The first image shows a happy tire and dollar sign running hand-in-hand along with the slogan “We make your dollars go further”.

The next generation of Canadian Tire ‘Money’ was introduced in 1961. It marked the birth of a well-known Scotsman, Sandy McTire, a character that became synonymous with Canadian Tire’s emphasis on savings and value. The coupons were printed on genuine bank note paper by the British American Bank Note Company (the same company that printed Canadian currency at the time). The coupons were made from authentic bank note paper, with the same rag content and spot marks as paper currency. Because the coupons felt like real money, people were, and still are, reluctant to throw them away.

Today, the new design of Canadian Tire ‘Money’ incorporates the latest anti-counterfeiting technology. Special watermarked paper is used in the printing so that, when held up to the light, a white outline of the Canadian Tire triangle is visible through the paper. Raised lettering on the face of the bill, a maple leaf image, and anti-copier tints are used to create the background patterns. A latent image of a maple leaf is positioned to the right of Sandy McTire’s left ear-but it can only be seen by tilting the bill at eye level.

VIA Rail/Amtrak Amtrak travelers 62 years of age and over are eligible to receive a 15% discount on the lowest available rail fare on most Amtrak trains. On cross-border services operated jointly by Amtrak and VIA Rail Canada, a 10% senior discount is applicable to travelers aged 60 and over.

Zellers Discount 10% (55 and over) the first Monday of every month (except Sept because of the holiday…it will be on the 8th)

Place Viau, 7600, rue Viau, St-Léonard, Québec, H1S 2P3, (514) 728-3641
Hours Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
Open 9:00AM 9:00AM 9:00AM 9:00AM 9:00AM 9:00AM 8:00AM
Closed 5:00PM 9:00PM 9:00PM 9:00PM 9:00PM 9:00PM 5:00PM

The Bay 15 % Discount for seniors on the 1st Tuesday of each month

Boulevard Centre, 4150, rue Jean-Talon Est., Montréal, Québec, H1S 2V4 (514) 728-4571
Hours Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
Open 10:00AM 9:30AM 9:30AM 9:30AM 9:30AM 9:30AM 9:00AM
Closed 5:00PM 6:00PM 6:00PM 6:00PM 9:00PM 9:00PM 5:00PM
Beauty Salon /Carpet Cleaning (in home service) Phone 🙁 800) 818-7779 /Fur Storage
Gift Registry Phone :(514) 728-4571 ext 0226 /Income Tax Services (seasonal) /Reseau Admission

Les Galeries d’Anjou, 7895, blvd Les Galeries d’Anjou, Anjou, Québec, H1M 1W6 (514) 353-3300
Hours Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
Open 10:00AM 10:00AM 10:00AM 10:00AM 10:00AM 10:00AM 9:00AM
Closed 5:00PM 9:00PM 9:00PM 9:00PM 9:00PM 9:00PM 5:00PM

HE BRAIN’S NATURAL PRESERVATIVE is the neurotransmitter, acetylcholine. It is key to preventing age-related dementias.

“By adjusting the levels of acetylcholine through dietary supplements, natural compounds and a ‘rainbow diet’ of fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean meats,” he says, many people could reverse their brain’s aging by as much as 15 years.

Other ways to boost your brain power, according to Braverman: Engage in mental exercises such as crossword puzzles, reading, and playing musical instruments. Other brain challenges include making such simple changes as learning to eat with utensils using your left hand, if you are right-handed, or vice-versa if you are left-handed.

Think fruits and vegetables. Include a variety of colorful variety of fruits and vegetables in your diet. Avoid processed foods and saturated fats. Spice things up. Certain spices improve your brain speed, including basil, black pepper, sage, turmeric and mint. 50+ article

Our greatest gift is in never falling but in rising every time we fall. Anonymous

The secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one had to do -Anonymous
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all”. Helen Keller
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter. – Martin Luther King Jr.

What goes around comes around.
Work like you don’t need the money.
Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Dance like nobody’s watching.
Sing like nobody’s listening.
& Live like its Heaven on Earth.
Submitted by Sue

rticles for our CCS/Almage Satellite newsletter for our newspaper are not only welcomed but are needed and valued.

If you have an upcoming event to announce or if you have an article to sell please speak to Barbara, Dolores, or Janet and we will post it in “Old Bones” News.



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