June 2010 “OLD BONES” News

June 1, 2010

When death’s dark stream I ferry o’er,
a time that surely shall come;
In Heaven itself, I’ll ask no more,
than just a Highland welcome.

Robert Burns

HESTER MARY KERR aged ninety-five, passed away in her sleep on Sunday morning, May 9, 2010. She was predeceased by her parents Andrew and Kate (Chard) Kerr, her siblings Elsie (Tom), Grace (Christopher), Ian (Violet) and Ralph. Hester leaves behind nine nieces and nephews, their spouses, many great and great-great nieces and nephews as well as cousins with whom she kept in contact. Hester enjoyed her life and travelled extensively. Service to the community was an important part of her life. She was involved in the Anglican Church Diocese, St. Hilda’s and had a special interest in the Arctic Anglican Church. Many thanks to all who took the time to make her last year in the Fulford Home as pleasant as possible.

Special thanks to Rev. Ros Macgregor who will be leading the Memorial Service on Saturday, May 22, 2010 at 11 a.m. at St. Hilda’s (Bishop Carmichael Memorial Church), 6341 DeLorimier Avenue, Montreal, H2G 2P5. In lieu of flowers, please make a donation to St. Hilda’s or to the charity of your choice. Published in the Montreal Gazette on 5/15/2010

Poem of Life
Life is but a stopping place,
a pause in what’s to be,
a resting place along the road,
to sweet eternity.
We all have different journeys,
Different paths along the way,
we all were meant to learn some things,
but never meant to stay…
Our destination is a place,
far greater than we know.
For some the journeys quicker,
for some the journey’s slow.
And when the journey finally ends,
we’ll claim a great reward,
and find an everlasting peace,
Together with the lord

Author unknown

It is with sadness we say good-bye to Hester, a treasured member of Almage St. Michael Rosemount satellite group and faithful member of Saint Hilda’s faith community.

Hester will be deeply missed and will always be fondly remembered. Rest in peace.

.Live today because tomorrow is not promised.

One day a man’s wife died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the husband was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore”. No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together, no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.”

Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say ” I love you.”

So while we have it, its best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick. This is true for marriage; and old cars; and children with bad habits and report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep, like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law or brother-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special. And so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone who thought I was a ‘keeper’! Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way. Now it’s your turn to send this to all those people who are “keepers” in your life if you feel that way. Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them?

I was thinking. I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed rekindling or three words needing to be said.

Let every one of your friends know you love them. Even if you think they don’t love you back, you would be amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do. And just in case I’m gone tomorrow.

I LOVE YA!!!
Live today because tomorrow is not promised. Submitted by Barbara

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
“I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.” Pablo Picasso

Birthdays in the month of June
♫ Happy Birthday, God Bless you, Happy Birthday to you! ♫

 Marie G  Nancy B  Valerie T 

Jun 04 to Jun 13 – Hornbeam Tree
Hornbeam Tree (Good Taste) — of cool beauty, cares for its looks and condition, good taste, is not egoistic, makes life as comfortable as possible, leads a reasonable and disciplined life, looks for kindness and acknowledgment in an emotional partner, dreams of unusual lovers, is seldom happy with its feelings, mistrusts most people, is never sure of its decisions, very conscientious.

Jun 24 (only) – Birch Tree
Birch Tree (Inspiration) — vivacious, attractive, elegant, friendly, unpretentious, modest, does not like any thing in excess, abhors vulgar, loves life in nature and in calm, not very passionate, full of imagination, little ambition, creates a calm and content atmosphere.

History of Father’s Day

History of Father’s Day as seen today is not even a hundred years old. Thanks to the hard work of Ms Sonora Louise Smart Dodd of Washington that just as we have set aside Mother’s Day to honor mothers we have a day to acknowledge the important role played by the father.

Sonora felt strongly for fathers because of the affection she received from her own father Mr. William Jackson Smart, a Civil War veteran. Sonora’s mother died while childbirth when she was just 16. Mr. Smart raised the newborn and five other children with love and care.

Inspired by Anna Jarvis’s struggle to promote Mother’s Day, Sonora Dodd began a rigorous campaign to celebrate Father’s Day in US. The Spokane Ministerial Association and the local Young Men’s Christian Association (YMCA) supported Sonora’s cause. As a result Spokane celebrated its first Father’s Day on June 19, 1910. Though there was hesitation at first the idea gradually gained popularity all over US and Fathers Day came to be celebrated in cities across the country.

Sonora Smart Dodd was honored for her contribution at the World’s Fair in Spokane in 1974. Mrs. Dodd died in 1978 at age 96.

However some scholars believe that the origin of Father’s Day is not a latest phenomenon, as many believe it to be. Rather they claim that the tradition of Father’s Day can be traced in the ruins of Babylon. They have recorded that a young boy called Elmesu carved a Father’s Day message on a card made out of clay nearly 4,000 years ago. Elmesu wished his Babylonian father good health and a long life. Though there is no record of what happened to Elmesu and his father but the tradition of celebrating Father’s Day remained in several countries all over the world.

Other Theories of Fathers Day Origin

•Some believe that the first Fathers Day church service was held in West Virginia in 1908.
•Others opine that the ceremony was first held in Vancouver, Washington.
•The president of Lions’ Club, Chicago, Harry Meek is said to have celebrated the first Father’s Day with his organization in 1915 to stress on the need to honor fathers. He selected third Sunday in June for celebration, the closest date to Meek’s own birthday. In appreciation for Meek’s work, the Lions Clubs of America presented him with a gold watch, with the inscription “Originator of Father’s Day,” on his birthday, June 20, 1920.
•Some historians honor Mrs. Charles Clayton of West Virginia, as the Founder of Father’s Day.
•In 1957, Senator Margaret Chase Smith wrote Congress that, “Either we honor both our parents, mother and father, or let us desist from honoring either one. But to single out just one of our two parents and omit the other is the most grievous insult imaginable.”
•In countries where Catholic Church holds greater influence Father’s Day is celebrated on St. Joseph’s Day (March 19).

Father’s Day is a day of commemoration and celebration of Dad. It is a day to not only honor your father, but all men who have acted as a father figure in your life – whether as Stepfathers, Uncles, Grandfathers, or “Big Brothers.” It is celebrated on the third Sunday of June in 52 of the world’s countries and on other days elsewhere. To the very special men in our lives “ Happy Father’s Day! “

In addition to Father’s Day, International Men’s Day is celebrated in many countries on November 19 for men and boys who are not fathers. Taken from the web

Mother’s Day Special at Almage, Rosemount St. Michel satellite

May 10th was a very special day at St. Hilda’s church hall as members of the Rosemount St. Michel satellite group celebrated Mother’s Day in great style.

Everyone in attendance, including our special guest the Rev Ros Macgregor and our much appreciated male members, wore hats. Not just hats…not just ordinary hats… but exquisite hats!

For the most they were large brimmed, elegant hats, worn on the head at various angles; jauntily to one side almost touching the shoulder; resting comfortable squarely on the top of the head or slightly low in front allowing the wearer to peek out from under the beautiful straw weave. Although worn differently they all had much in common; beauty and elegance, a reminder of glorious afternoon garden parties. Each hat was garlanded with an array of delicate, beautiful flowers in every imaginable colour. Some members used imagination, straw baskets, straw, ribbon, glue, glitter and staples to create their special mother’s day hats.

Special guest, the Rev. Ros MacGregor was a very welcomed addition to our celebration. Her lovely hat had warm and loving feelings attached to it. It was her late mother’s hat; the one her mother loved and always wore.

After the enjoyment of experiencing the beauty and colour around us we were treated to high tea.

Tablecloth clad tables were adorned with fine china tea pots, creamer’s and sugar bowls. We drank our tea from china cups and feasted on finger sandwiches and delectable sweets.

While enjoying our superb “High Tea” we learned much from Jeannette about the benefits of the delicious brew. Questions flew on the benefits of white tea and its taste. To our surprise Jeannette had prepared take- home sample packages of white tea for everyone.

It was a thoughtful gift that enabled us, later that week, to sample an ‘unknown’ while recalling our wonderful Mothers Day celebration at Rosemount St. Michel satellite

A very big thank you goes out to Rev. MacGregor for graciously accepting the challenge of judging the many creative and beautiful hats.

With music playing softly in the background the ladies arm-in-arm, strolled around the room showing off their colorful headwear. The decision was made and cash prizes were awarded in three categories with a tie for the first category.

Most colorful – Dolores and Madeline Most original – Janet S and Most creative – Helen

The afternoon ebbing away, we all assembled for a photo shoot before saying our good-byes until next week.

A huge “Thank you” to everyone who made the day a special one: A day to be stored in our memory and recalled at will.

The quote of the month is by Jay Leno:
‘With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of swine flu and terrorist attacks, ‘Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?’ Submitted by Ted

HUMOR IS THE BEST MEDICINE

A US first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are American too. Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy fireworks. There is, however, one exception.

A girl named Kristen has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I am not an American.”
“Then”, asks the teacher, “What are you?”
“I’m a proud Canadian,” boasts the little girl.

The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Kristen why she is a Canadian.
“Well, my mom and dad are Canadians, so I’m a Canadian too.

“The teacher is now really angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly.
“What if your mom was a crappy hockey player, and your dad was a crappy hockey player? Would that mean that you’re a crappy hockey player too?

A pause and a smile. Then, says Kristen, “Nope! That’d mean I’m an American. Submitted by Barbara

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks,
“Can you tell me how long it’ll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?”
The agent replies, “Just a minute.”
Thank you,” the blonde says and hangs up. Submitted by Barbara

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband’s advice.

“What do you think?” I asked. “Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?”

“Better get a bikini,” he replied. “You’d never get it all in one.” He’s still in intensive care.
Submitted by Barbara

With time, women gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren’t heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, Good grief, look how smart I am! Must be where ‘Smart Ass’ came from! Submitted by Barbara

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks him how he is feeling.
” I’m O. K. But I didn’t like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,” he answered.
“What did he say,” asked the nurse.
“Oops!” Submitted by Barbara

Two Reasons Why It’s So Hard To Solve a Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches. 2. There are no dental records. Submitted by Barbara

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you’ll begin to think you’re a genius.

On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,”

“Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can’t help but cry. I mean I’d love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.” –Mariah Carey

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life,”
— Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,”
–Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

“Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,”
–Mayor Marion Barry, Washington , DC .

“That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I’m just the one to do it,”
–A congressional candidate in Texas .

“Half this game is ninety percent mental.” –Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it..”
–Al Gore, Vice President

“I love California . I practically grew up in Phoenix ” — Dan Quayle

“We’ve got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?” –Lee Iacocca

“The word “genius” isn’t applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.”
–Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

“We don’t necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.”
— Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor.

Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you? You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.”
–Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

“Traditionally, most of Australia’s imports come from overseas.” –Keppel Enderbery

“If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there’ll be a record.”
–Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Feeling smarter yet? Submitted by Ted

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Border Collie: Just one.. And then I’ll replace any wiring that’s not up to code. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, let’s go play ball and worry about that bulb later. Submitted by Ted

Seasoned Citizens ~ Wisdom From Grandpa – –

It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial rates and blamed it on the cost of living.
Remember, If you haven’t got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart, Then you are just a sour old fart!

“Have a Great Day, unless you’ve made other plans” Submitted by Ted

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.

“How was he killed?” asked one detective.

“With a golf gun,” the other detective replied.

“A golf gun! What is a golf gun?”

“I don’t know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.”

Moe: “My wife got me to believe in religion.

Joe: “Really?”

Moe: “Yeah. Until I married her I didn’t believe in Hell.”
Submitted by Barbara

QUICKIES

My wife and I had words, but I didn’t get to use mine.

The irony of life is that, by the time you’re old enough to know your way around, you’re not going anywhere

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.

I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Aspire to inspire before you expire. Submitted by Ted

Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to ‘Dad.’

With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.

Dear Dad:

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it’s not only the passion…Dad she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.

In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love,

Your Son John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house.

I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card That’s in my center desk drawer..

I love you.

Call me when it’s safe to come home.

Lord, Keep Your arm around my shoulder, and Your hand over my mouth.

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” – Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” – Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” – Paul Keating

“In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily.” – Charles, Count Talleyrand

“He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.” – Forrest Tucker

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” – Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” – Mae West

“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde

“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts for support rather than illumination.” Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
Submitted by Ted

Girlie Wisdom!

1. A friend of mine confused her Valium with her birth control pills… she has 14 kids but doesn’t really care.

2. One of life’s mysteries is how a 2-pound box of chocolates can make a woman gain 5 lbs.

3. My mind not only wanders, it sometimes leaves completely.

4. The best way to forget your troubles is to wear tight shoes.

5. The nice part about living in a small town is that when you don’t know what you are doing, someone else does.

6. The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight because by then, your body and your fat are really good friends.

7. Just when I was getting used to yesterday, along came today…

8. Sometimes I think I understand everything, and then I regain consciousness.

9. I gave up jogging for my health when my thighs kept rubbing together and setting fire to my knickers’…

10.. Amazing! You hang something in your closet for a while and it shrinks 2 sizes!

STAY YOUNG MY FRIENDS
We all need to read this one over and over until it becomes part of who we are!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Try everything twice.

On one woman’s tombstone she said she wanted this epitaph:” Tried everything twice, loved it both times!”

2. Keep only cheerful friends. Grouches pull you down. (Keep in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever… Never let the brain get idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with Him/Her.

6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help…

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. I love you my special friend

11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second chance….. Remember! Lost time can never be found. Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle…

Subject: Bravest Mouse Ever – A mouse stealing a leopard’s Lunch….!

Seemingly unaware of the beast towering over it, the tiny rodent grabbed at scraps of meat thrown into the African Leopard’s enclosure. But instead of pouncing on the tiny intruder, the 12-year-old leopard Sheena kept her distance. After a few minutes she tried to nudge the mouse away with her nose, but the determined little guy kept chewing away until he was full.

The extraordinary scene was captured by photography student Casey Gutteridge at the Santago Rare Leopard Project in Hertfordshire, England. The 19-year-old, photographing the leopard for a course project, was astounded by the mouse’s behavior.

He said had no idea where the mouse came from. He just appeared after the keeper had dropped in the meat for the leopard. Taking no notice of the leopard, the mouse went straight over to the meat and started eating.

Even when the leopard bent down and sniffed him, the mouse just carried on eating like nothing had happened. Even the keeper said he’d never seen anything like it before.

Project owner Jackie James added: It was so funny to see – Sheena batted the mouse a couple of times to try to get it away from her food. But the determined little thing took no notice and just carried on.

The mouse continued to eat the leopard’s lunch and showed the leopard who was boss.

Clothes lines

I don’t know how it was at your house, but this is exactly how it was at my house!

But, I also recall having to take the frozen clothes off the line in winter ~ my poor little hands were so red and cold they hurt!

You have to be a certain age to appreciate this. I can hear my mother now. If you don’t know what clotheslines are, you had better skip this.

1. You had to wash the clothes line before hanging any clothes-walk the entire lengths of each line with a damp cloth around the lines.

2. You had to hang the clothes in a certain order, always hang “whites” with “whites,” and hang them first.

3. You never hung a shirt by the shoulders, always by the tail! What would the neighbors think?

4. Wash day is on a Monday! Never hang clothes on the weekend, or Sunday, for heaven’s sake!

5. Hang the sheets and towels on the outside lines so you could hide your “unmentionables” in the middle (perverts & busybodies, y’know)!

6. It didn’t matter if it was sub zero weather. Clothes would “freeze-dry.”

7. Always gather the clothes pins when taking down dry clothes! Pins left on the lines were “tacky!”

8. If you were efficient, you would line the clothes up so that each item did not need two clothes pins, but shared one of the clothes pins with the next washed item.

9. Clothes in the basket, and ready to be ironed.

10. Ironed?! Well, that’s a whole other subject! Submitted by Barbara

A clothesline was a news forecast
Poem
To neighbors passing by
There were no secrets you could keep
When clothes were hung to dry.

It also was a friendly link
For neighbors always knew
If company had stopped on by
To spend a night or two.

For then you’d see the “fancy sheets”
And towels upon the line
You’d see the “company table cloths”
With intricate designs.

The line announced a baby’s birth
From folks who lived inside
As brand new infant clothes were hung
So carefully with pride!

The ages of the children could
So readily be known
By watching how the sizes changed
You’d know how much they’d grown!

It also told when illness struck
As extra sheets were hung
Then nightclothes, and a bathrobe, too
Haphazardly were strung.

It also said, “Gone on vacation now”
When lines hung limp and bare
It told, “We’re back!” when full lines sagged
With not an inch to spare!

New folks in town were scorned upon
If wash was dingy and gray
As neighbors carefully raised their brows
And looked the other way.

But clotheslines now are of the past
For dryers make work much less
Now what goes on inside a home?
Is anybody’s guess!

I really miss that way of life
It was a friendly sign
When neighbors knew each other best
By what hung on the line! Submitted by Barbara

THE JEOPARDY QUESTION NO ONE COULD ANSWER

On Jeopardy the other night, the final question was “How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknown” —- All three contestants missed it!

Q. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the tomb of the Unknowns and why?
A. 21 steps: It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute which the highest honor is given any military or foreign dignitary.

Q How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?
A. 21 seconds for the same reason as answer number 1

Q Why are his gloves wet?
A His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

Q Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and, if not, why not?
A He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

Q How often are the guards changed?
A Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

Q What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?
A For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5′ 10′ and 6′ 2′ tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30.

They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives.

They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform or the tomb in any way.

After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb.

There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat and cold from their feet.

There are metal heel plates that extend to the top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt.

There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform.

Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.

The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone nor watch TV.

All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery.

A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred.
Among the notables are: President Taft, Joe Lewis {the boxer} Medal of Honor winner Audie L. Murphy, the most decorated soldier of WWII and of Hollywood fame.

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

Eternal rest grant them O Lord and let perpetual light shine upon them.

In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC, the US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm.

On the ABC evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, “No way, Sir!” Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding the Tomb was not just an assignment; it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

God Bless and keep them. We can be very proud of our young men and women in the service no matter where they serve.

IN GOD WE TRUST Submitted by Barbara

Faith

You all remember Sheriff Joe Arpaio of Arizona, who painted the jail cells pink and made the inmates wear pink prison garb.

Well Sheriff Joe is at it again! Oh, there’s MUCH more to know about Sheriff Joe!
Maricopa County was spending approx. $18 million dollars a year on stray animals, like cats and dogs. Sheriff Joe offered to take the department over, and the County Supervisors said okay.

The animal shelters are now all staffed and operated by prisoners. They feed and care for the strays. Every animal in his care is taken out and walked twice daily. He now has prisoners who are experts in animal nutrition and behavior. They give great classes for anyone who’d like to adopt an animal. He has literally taken stray dogs off the street, given them to the care of prisoners, and had them place in dog shows.

The best part? His budget for the entire department is now under $3 million. Teresa and I adopted a Weimaraner from a Maricopa County shelter two years ago. He was neutered, and current on all shots, in great health, and even had a microchip inserted the day we got him. Cost us $78.

The prisoners get the benefit of about $0.28 an hour for working, but most would work for free, just to be out of their cells for the day. Most of his budget is for utilities, building maintenance, etc. He pays the prisoners out of the fees collected for adopted animals.

I have long wondered when the rest of the country would take a look at the way he runs the jail system, and copy some of his ideas. He has a huge farm, donated to the county years ago, where inmates can work, and they grow most of their own fresh vegetables and food, doing all the work and harvesting by hand.

He has a pretty good sized hog farm, which provides meat, and fertilizer. It fertilizes the Christmas tree nursery, where prisoners work, and you can buy a living Christmas tree for $6 – $8 for the Holidays, and plant it later. We have six trees in our yard from the Prison.

Yup, he was reelected last year with 83% of the vote. Now he’s in trouble with the ACLU again. He painted all his buses and vehicles with a mural that has a special hotline phone number painted on it, where you can call and report suspected illegal aliens.

Immigrations and Customs Enforcement wasn’t doing enough in his eyes, so he had 40 deputies trained specifically for enforcing immigration laws, started up his hotline, and bought 4 new buses just for hauling folks back to the border He’s kind of a ‘Git-R Dun’ kind of Sheriff.

To those of you not familiar with Joe Arpaio he is the Maricopa Arizona county sheriff and he keeps getting elected over and over. This is the reason why: Sheriff Joe Arpaio created the ‘ Tent City Jail’: He has jail meals down to 40 cents a serving and charges the inmates for them. He stopped allowing smoking and porno magazines in the jails. He took away their weights. Cut off all but ‘G’ movies. He started chain gangs so the inmates could do free work on county and city projects. Then He Started Chain Gangs for Women so he wouldn’t get sued For Discrimination. He took away cable TV Until he found out there was A Federal Court Order that Required Cable TV For Jails So he hooked up the cable TV Again but only allowed the Disney channel and the weather channel.

When asked why the weather channel He Replied, so they will know how hot it’s gonna be while they are working on my chain gang.

He cut off coffee because it has zero nutritional value. When the inmates complained, he told them, ‘This isn’t the Ritz Carlton……If you don’t like it, don’t come back.’

With temperatures being even hotter than usual in Phoenix (116 Degrees- just set a new record), the Associated Press Reports: About 2,000 inmates living in a barbed-wire-surrounded tent encampment at the Maricopa County Jail have been given permission to strip down to their government-issued pink boxer shorts.

On Wednesday, hundreds of men wearing boxers were either curled up on their bunk beds or chatted in the tents, which reached 138 Degrees inside the week before. Many were also swathed in wet, pink towels as sweat collected on their chests and dripped down to their pink socks. ‘It feels like we are in a furnace,’ Said James Zanzot, an inmate who has lived in the tents for 1 year. ‘It’s inhumane.’

Joe Arpaio, the tough-guy sheriff who created the tent city and long ago started making his prisoners wear pink, and eat bologna sandwiches, is not one bit sympathetic. He said Wednesday that he told all of the inmates: ‘It’s 120 Degrees In Iraq and our soldiers are living in tents too, and they have to wear full battle gear, But they didn’t commit any crimes, so shut your mouths!’

Way to go, Sheriff! Maybe if all prisons were like this one there would be a lot less crime and/or repeat offenders. Criminals should be punished for their crimes – not live in luxury until it’s time for their parole, only to go out and commit another crime so they can get back in to live on taxpayers money and enjoy things taxpayers can’t afford to have for themselves
Submitted by Barbara

HEALTH
http://www.rwood.com/Articles/Dandelion_Greens.htm
1 cup raw Vit. A Vit. K Calcium Iron
Dandelion Greens 54% 188% 10% 9%
Broccoli 12% 112% 4% 4%
Dandelion greens are one of season’s earliest foodstuffs and one of the finest of spring tonics. Indeed, they are the most nutritious leafy vegetable you can buy (see accompanying chart).
The greens have a slightly bitter note, they are elegant in a salad and they make a tasty potherb. I also put them in stir fries and soup.

Dandelions support digestion, reduce swelling and inflammation, and treat viruses, jaundice, edema, gout, eczema and acne. This sunflower relative boasts potent medicinal properties with laxative and diuretic properties (its French name, pissenlit, wet the bed, aptly names its effectiveness).
Dandelion crowns sit atop the dandelion’s taproot and includes multiple nascent buds and the earliest—most tender—leaves. I feast upon these succulent, buttery soft, bittersweet morsels. Dandelion crowns are a treat that money can’t buy.

Don’t bother gathering from plants that have gone to flower. Here’s why: as the energy moves up to the blossom, the greens becomes quite bitter and require blanching to be toothsome.

The flowers may be used to make wine or Honey-Preserved Blossom Spread sauté the crowns (and/or leaves) with an onion and garlic and season with a pinch of sea salt and pepper.

Or, for an excellent salad, I’ll toss dandelion greens, neat, or with other greens. The bittersweet root is typically used as a coffee substitute and in herbal tonics.

HISTORY

MEMORIAL TO SARAH MAXWELL –Christ Church Cathedral

How Sarah Maxwell went to her death 1974 The Gazette by Edgar Andrew Collard

It was about half past one in the afternoon on Tuesday, February 26, 1907. The 31 year old Miss Sarah Maxwell wad conducting a class on the ground floor of the Hochelaga Protestant School – an old school near the waterfront in Montreal’s east end just beyond today’s network for CPR tracks. She was principal of the school and a teacher as well.

Willie Gilbert, on of her Pupils, a boy about 10, burst in front of the corridor. He ran up to Mess Maxwell. The corridor, he said, was full of smoke.

The Hochelega School was an old-fashioned building two stories high, with a half floor above it where the caretaker lived. It had been built long before Hochelaga was annexed to Montreal. Stairways were crooked: lobbies and corridors ere narrow. It was heated by a hot air furnace in the basement. Fuel was wood kept stacked in piles. The caretaker was a woman, Mrs. William …..

The school had no fire escapes. Children from the kindergarten on the second floor could not get out only when coming down the interior staircase. Dr. William Opzoomer, the medical inspector, only the day before, in filling his report, had written in the space marked “Fire Protection” on the form: “Nothing of any kind.”

When Willie Gilbert told her about smoke in the corridor, Miss Maxwell went out to investigate. Flames were dancing through the piles of wood in the basement. Smoke was rolling up black and heavy.
Dr. Opzoomer came into the lobby; he had been unable to make …Monday. She told him to go at once to call the firemen. The school had no telephone

Then she went back to her classroom. She looked very white but said nothing to frighten the children. She only told them to get their overcoats and hurry home.
In the corridor she stood to see the ground-floor classes out safely. “I saw smoke right away.” said another of her pupils, Oswald Thompson, “and as I was running out of the building I saw Miss Maxwell hurrying up stairs to try and save the little children up there. When seeing the ground d floor children out Sarah Maxwell had said all at once: My, the children upstairs!” By this time the smoke, pouring up through the open doors of the basement and puffing out through all the hot air registers, had soared into the stair well. There it was stifling.

As Sarah Maxwell rushed up through the smoke Mrs., Hands, the caretaker, caught hold of skirts. She shouted at her to come back…that she couldn’t get through. “She tore away.” Said Mrs. Hands, telling me to stay where I was and get the children out as they came down. I wanted to follow her, but felt sure she would never come down again.”

The teachers on the second floor became aware of the fire when they saw whiffs of smoke drifting into their classrooms through the hot-air registers. At first they paid little attention; smoke often came into the rooms in puffs when the furnace was not working well.

But smoke thickened: children began to complain’ sounds of excitement were coming up from the floor below. When the teachers stepped into the upper hallways they saw the smoke swirling up the stair well.

The teachers herded the children out of the classrooms to the top of the stairs. They gasped and coughed. Some of the older children dashed down.

Tom Hogan, a boy in Miss Campbell’s class, told his story: “My teacher went out into the hall as we all heard a noise. She ran back, and seemed very much frightened and red in the face, and told us to get our things and run right home…

“I had my tuque with me and ran out; and as soon as I got to the landing I saw the stairway full of smoke, while the boys and girls were crowding on it, afraid to go down. I pushed through them and ran down to the front door, and hollered to the rest to come on, and a lot of the came. The smoke was so thick in the hall it was just like running into the dark.”

The teachers were afraid to force the younger children down; they led them back to the classrooms and closed the doors to keep out the smoke as best they could.

The fortunate class was Miss Campbell’s. Two workmen from the icehouse across the street came running with ladders. They threw them up to the dressing room windows of her classroom.

The children were crushing against the windows, awed by the smoke but afraid to jump. The workmen came up the ladders. Mrs. Campbell helped the children out. The workmen carried them down, one by one. Twenty children were saved and Miss Campbell herself.

The fire reels now arrived. Hoses were unrolled. But the ladder-wagon was delayed. Street cars and a prancing horse and held it up at a street corner.

The Kindergarten children were the fire’s chief victims. They were too confused to know what was going on. Too young to help themselves. Miss Ethel Keyes, their teacher, led them away from the smoke filled staircase and back to their classroom. With her own hands she smashed the window to let air in.
At that moment Sarah Maxwell burst into the room thought the smoke. They looked at each other but did not speak.

The children clustered around Miss Campbell, broke away, and rushed to the principal. Sarah Maxwell went to the next window. She put her fist through the glass; she tore the pieces out of the frame blood was running up her arms.

Miss Campbell stepped to her window sill. Her clothing was beginning to catch fire. A ladder came up to the window… She looked about for the children. All had gone over to Sarah Maxwell’s window. Miss Campbell was almost unconscious with suffocation. She might have jumped if the fireman at the summit of the ladder had not caught hold of her. She was carried down, no longer knowing where she was.

Miss Sarah Maxwell was now the lone teacher on the second floor of the school, with the whole kindergarten screaming round about her. The fire ladder came to her window.

Fire Chief Benoit and Capt. Carson were the first up. As many firemen as could crowd on the lower rungs. They formed a living chain. Miss Maxwell handed the children out of the window, one after the other. They were passes rapidly down the ladder to the ground. About 20 children were carried to safety.

Fire had now seized the school. Flames were leaping from the ground-floor windows. Smoke pressed into the kindergarten room upstairs; flames were following after it. In the icy February afternoon hoses had to be turned on the firemen at the top of the ladder to keep them from being scorched. They were soaked to the skin; water dripped from their uniforms; the higher rungs of the ladder were blistering.

Still Sarah Maxwell was at the window. Two more children were handed out. As she handed to Capt. Carson the last child he could see, he called to her to come.
“No”, she said, “there may be others back there.” She turned away from the window into the smoke.

They saw her stagger. “Get her Ben.” Capt. Carson shouted to Chief Benoit. “I got her.” Said Benoit, who had been just able to catch her by the hand. Capt. Carson got to the sill. He scooped his arm inside and grabbed hold of her skirt. But the skirt ripped away. There was an explosion. Flames shot into their faces, driving them down the ladder.

“I saw her fall back into the gloom.” Said Capt. Carson.
“The fire broke into the room, and nothing could have been done. Miss Maxwell went to her death, like a true heroine, and all we could do was to retreat and leaver her body until the flames were conquered.”

When streams of water had dampened the flames, the ladders were put back to the second-floor windows. A groan went up from the thousands gathered around as a huddled bundle was passed through the window. The bodies of 16 children were carried down. The body of Sarah Maxwell was found also and brought with greater difficulty down the ladder.

At the morgue the children were laid side by side on a platform. The row of little shoes projected from beneath the white sheet. On Sarah Maxwell’s body the hands and neck were slightly burnt, but the cause of death had been suffocation. A bruise on her nose showed she had fallen on her face. The report stated: Her tightly set mouth and slightly contorted features conveyed an impression of deathly resoluteness.”

Sarah Maxwell’s father had died some time before. She had been living with her widowed mother in a flat on Upper St. Urbain Street. The family was well-known in Montreal. Her uncle, E. J. Maxwell (the designers, among many other buildings, of the Art Gallery on Sherbrooke Street).

Her funeral was held in Christ Church Cathedral. The procession from Upper
St. Urbain to St. Catherine was headed by mounted policemen, followed by a detachment from the Fire
Brigade. Thousands lined the route. The Cathedral was crowded; the chancel had to be used to accommodate the overflow.

A new school on Prefontaine Street was named in her honour. “The Sarah Maxwell Memorial School. “ When shifts of population led to its closing, another school this time on Park George Boulevard in Montreal North was given her name in 1951. Only last year it was closed. The name was not carried on by any other school.

A lasting memorial is in Christ Church Cathedral. Dr. Hebert Symonds, Vicar of the Cathedral, had said at the time of her death: “The influence of memorials is very great….We….here in this church upon which Sarah Maxwell has conferred honor, shall perpetuate her memory.”

Sarah Maxwell’s memorial tablet is on the south wall of Christ Church Cathedral, just to the west of the main entrance. It is among glints of stained glass, in the hush only a few feet from the tremors of St. Catherine Street’s traffic.

The inscription reads:
“In memory of Sarah Maxwell, Principal of the Hochelega School who gave her life in a noble attempt to save the pupils, at the destruction of the building by fire on Feb. 26th, 1907.

Erected by the Congregation of Christ Church Cathedral.”

Submitted by Frank

Please address submissions for ‘Old Bones’ newsletter to the Editor; janetstubbert@hotmail.com

Beannachd Dhe Leat!

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