March 2010 “OLD BONES” News

March 1, 2010

JANET STUBBERT, Editor “Old Bones News” – janetstubbert@hotmail.com

Birthdays in the month of March
♫ Happy Birthday, God Bless you, Happy Birthday to you! ♫
Ronelda Joyce  Doreen 

Mar 01 to Mar 10 – Weeping Willow Tree
Weeping Willow (Melancholy) – likes to be stress free, loves family life, full of hopes and dreams, attractive, very empathetic, loves anything beautiful, musically inclined, loves to travel to exotic places, restless, capricious, and honest, can be influenced but is not easy to live with when pressured, sometimes demanding, good intuition, suffers in love until they find that one loyal, steadfast partner; loves to make others laugh.

Mar 22 to Mar 31 – Hazelnut Tree
Hazelnut Tree (Extraordinary) — charming, sense of humor, very demanding but can also be very understanding, knows how to make a lasting impression, active fighter for social causes and politics, popular, quite moody, sexually oriented, honest, a perfectionist, has a precise sense of judgment and expects complete fairness.

HEALTH AND WELFARE

Angela was noticeably absent from our “Valentine’s Dinner. Unfortunately she was hospitalized on February 4th until February 12th. I am happy to say she is doing well now and we wish her continued good health in the months and years to come.

This and That

1 Natalie makes jeweler from buttons. She would be very happy to have any extra ones you don’t need.
2 If you need of a bookcase there are three free for the asking.
3 Do you need a printer for your computer? I have an extra one.
4 Are we interested in having John make us laugh in June? Here’s a note from him.
Hello,
I would love to laugh with you but I am in India at the moment, and will be here until June. If you can wait, then if you group is non-profit, pay me what you can, and I can do it in English.
Just laugh! John Lejderman www.laugh-yourself-daft.com

Valentine Dinner

We were pleased to receive our invited guests on Monday, February 8th to thank them for encouraging all of us in our attempt to learn French conversation.

A huge ‘thank you’ to: Clare for the delicious desserts, Joanne for supplying the gifts for the lucky bingo winners, Erika for the many beautiful handmade door prizes, Diane for her gift of fruit cakes, Djahida for putting together our ‘Welcome” banner, and our congratulations to chef Ivylin for a mouth watering dinner.
Your hard work and generous contributions were greatly appreciated.

It was a fun day for all of us. Without our guests the day would not have happened so a big ‘Thank you’ to; Rev. Roz MacGregor, Joane Fauteux (SAC), Maggie (Ctr St. Antoine)
Our guests from Courrier Blanc: Gil Chausse, Marie Eugene Richard, Roland Labbe, Therese Guilbert, Angeline Hache, Dolores Gaudrau, Micheline Bedard, Louise Rousseau, Marie Paule Gaudreault, Yolande Cloutier, Maria Delfabro, Lise Dugas, Yvette Tremblay, Lucille St-Pierre and Hugette Moses
Guests from CCS Almage, Montreal North Satellite: Glenna, Erika, Shirley, Alynne, Eleanor, Cheryl, and Clair. You made our day special.

Last but certainly not least a special thank you to Diane and Djahida who encouraged and helped us in our endeavor.

Month of March Recipe – IRISH STEW

Ingredients
1 ½ pounds of lean, boneless, lamb shoulder or shanks
3 pints of water or lamb stock (if you have it)
1 small onion, pealed but not sliced, stuck with two cloves
1 sachet, which is: *1 bay leaf *1 clove of garlic *4 whole peppercorns *6 parsley stems *¼ teaspoon of thyme *Wrapped in a piece of cheese cloth and tied tightly
1 large onion, chopped 1 leek, sliced thinly, only the white part
3 large potatoes, peeled and diced 1 large carrot, peeled and diced
1 parsnip, peeled and diced 2 tablespoon of fresh parsley, chopped
Salt and pepper to taste

Instructions
1. Cut the lamb into 1-inch cubes. 2. Bring the water, or stock if you are using stock, to a boil in a large stockpot. 3. Add the lamb. 4. Let the liquid come to a boil again and then reduce it to a simmer.
5. Skim off any scum that accumulates at the top. 6. Add the onion with the cloves and the sachet.
7. Add a pinch of salt and let simmer for an hour. 8. After one hour of simmering, add the chopped onion, leek, and potatoes. 9. Simmer until the meat is tender and the potatoes are cooked. 10. Remove the sachet and the onion with the cloves. 11. Taste for salt and pepper. 12. Garnish each bowl of stew with a sprinkling of chopped parsley.
Notes and Tips •This stew goes best with a thick piece of hardy, crusty bread.
Retrieved from “http://recipes.lovetoknow.com/wiki/Irish_Stew”Initial Author: Patrick Mooney

‘LAUGHTER is the shortest distance between two people.’ (Victor Borge)

His wife had been killed in an accident and the police were questioning Finnegan.
“Did she say anything before she died?” asked the sergeant.
“She spoke without interruption for about forty years,” said the Irishman.

A Swiss man, on holiday in Dublin, needed directions. He was standing outside Davy Byrne’s pub when he saw two youths walking by so he stops them and asks, ‘Entschuldigung, koennen Sie Deutsch sprechen?’
The two lads look at each other blankly and stare back at him.
‘Excusez-moi, parlez vous Français?’ he tries.
The two continue to stare.
‘Parlare Italiano?’ Still absolutely no response from the two lads.
‘Hablan ustedes Espanol?’ The Dublin lads remain totally silent.
The Swiss guy walks off extremely disappointed and downhearted that he had not been understood. One of the boys turns to the second and says,
‘Y’know, maybe we should learn a foreign language!’
‘Why?’ says the youth, ‘That guy knew four languages, and it didn’t do him any good!

Michael Hoolihan was courting Frances Phelan. The young couple sat in the parlor of the girl’s house night after night, much to the annoyance of old man Phelan. One night he couldn’t take any more. Standing at the top of the stairs, he yelled down, “What’s that young fella doin’ here all hours of the night?” “Why, Dad, “said Frances,”Michael was just telling me everything that’s in his heart!” “Well, next time, “roared Phelan,”just let him tell you what’s in his head, and it won’t take half as long!”

A drunk gets on a bus and asks the conductor how long the trip is between Limerick to Cork. “About 2 hours,” says the conductor. “Okay,” says the drunk “then how long is the trip between Cork to Limerick?” The irate conductor says to the drunk “It’s still about 2 hours, man. Why’d ya think there’d be a difference?” “Well,” says the drunk, “It’s only a week between Christmas and New Year’s, but it’s a helluva long time
between New Year’s to Christmas!”

The Irish attempt on Mount Everest was a valiant effort, but it failed: They ran out of scaffolding
It’s revolutionary Paris, 1789, and three spies from across the channel are about to be guillotined. “Do you want to be beheaded on your back or your front?” The executioner asked Smith.
“On my back,” said Smith. “I’m not afraid of death.” So Smith was laid on his back under the blade. The executioner pulled the lever. Schlick… and the blade jammed. Smith was reprieved because no man can be sentenced to death twice.
Hoskins was next. He too chose to face the knife. Again the blade jammed, and Hoskins was reprieved.
Murphy was third. “Back or front?”
“If it’s good enough for Smith and Hoskins, its good enough for me,” and so Murphy was laid on his back under the blade.
“Begorrah,” he said. “Just a minute. I think I can see why it jams.”

Irishman went to a pet shop and asked how many budgies were in stock. “We have 99” replied the shop owner “Give us the lot” said the Irish man, paid for them and left. He went to a tailors shop and had 99 pockets sewn into a jacket, put a budgie in each pocket, went up to the Post Office Tower and jumped off. He hit the ground with an almighty smack and lay there groaning until a passer-by came and asked him what had happened. “I don’t know sur” he replied “but that’s the last time I try that budgie jumping”
Mrs. Pete Monaghan came into the newsroom to pay for her husband’s obituary. She was told by the kindly newsman that it was a dollar a word and he remembered Pete and wasn’t it too bad about him passing away. She thanked him for his kind words and bemoaned the fact that she only had two dollars. But she wrote out the obituary,” Pete died.”
Why Worry? Blessing for St Patrick’s Day
In the end, there are only two things to worry about: either you are well or you are sick.
When you’re well, there is nothing to worry about.
But if you’re sick, then there are two things to worry about: either you get well or you will die.
When you get well, there is nothing to worry about.
But when you die, then there are two things to worry about: either you’ll go to heaven or you’ll go to hell.
When you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
But when you go to hell, you’ll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends; you won’t have time to worry! SO WHY WORRY!?

In 2020…A little boy goes to his father and asks “Daddy, how was I born?”
The father answers, “Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive…
As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said: ‘You’ve got Male!’
Submitted by Barbara

Concerning bagpipes: The Irish invented them and gave them to the Scots as a joke, and the Scots haven’t seen the joke yet
The newsman said he thought old Pete deserved more and he’d give her three more words at no charge. Mrs. Pete Monaghan thanked him and rewrote the obituary: “Pete died. Boat for sale”.
A man was driving through town, when he saw the flash of a traffic camera.

He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding…

Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed.

He tried a fourth time with the same result.

He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail’s pace…

Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt… You can’t fix stupid.

GOD Is Busy

A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments. He had completed missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One of the courses had a professor who was an avowed atheist, and a member of the ACLU.

One day the professor shocked the class when he came in. He looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, ‘GOD if you are real then I want you to knock me off this platform. I’ll give you exactly 15 minutes. The lecture room fell silent… You could hear a pin drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, ‘Here I am GOD, I’m still waiting.’

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Marine got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Marine went back to his seat and sat there, silently.

The other students were shocked and stunned, and sat there looking on in silence. The professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Marine and asked, ‘What in the world is the matter with you? ‘Why did you do that?’
The Marine calmly replied, ‘GOD was too busy today protecting America’s soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid stuff and act like an idiot… So HE sent me.’
The classroom erupted in cheers!

TWO LITTLE KIDS are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, ‘What are you in here for?’
The second kid says, ‘I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.’
The first kid says, ‘You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jello and ice cream. It’s a breeze.’
The second kid then asks, ‘what are you here for?’ The first kid says, ‘a circumcision.’ Whoa!’ the second kid replies. ‘Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year Barbara

FOUR WORMS and a lesson to be learned!!!!

A minister decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.
Four worms were placed into four separate jars.
The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.
The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Minister reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol – Dead
The second worm in cigarette smoke – Dead
Third worm in chocolate syrup – Dead
Fourth worm in good clean soil – Alive.

So the Minister asked the congregation – What did you learn from this demonstration???
Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,
‘As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won’t have worms!’

That pretty much ended the service Submitted by Barbara
SUBJECT: Is it Male or Female?

You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:
FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they’ve hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying Submitted by Barbara

Two shipyard horses talking to each other. “Are you a Protestant or a Catholic horse?” “Catholic, why” “Keep that quiet, I had a friend last week who told them he was lame and they shot him”

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
How it is one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.
Submitted by Ted
Zen Teachings

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just piss off and leave me alone.

2. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.

5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

6. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them,
you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

8. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.

9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

12. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield.

13. Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.

14. Good judgment comes from bad experience … and most of that comes from bad judgment.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.

17. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.

18… Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass … then things just keep getting worse.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night…
Submitted by Barbara

Quick Check for a mental age assessment

The following was developed as a mental age assessment by the School of Psychiatry at Stanford University. Take your time and see if you can read each line aloud without a mistake. The average person over 40 years of age cannot do it!

1. This is this cat.
2. This is is cat.
3. This is how cat.
4. This is to cat.
5. This is keep cat.
6. This is an cat.
7. This is old cat.
8. This is fart cat.
9. This is busy cat..
10. This is for cat.
11. This is forty cat.
12. This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the third word in each line from the top down

Christian one liner:
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn’t belong.

If a church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it has. Submitted by Dolores
A PIRATE walks into a bar and the bartender says,
‘Hey, I haven’t seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.’
‘What do you mean?’ said the pirate. ‘I feel fine.’
‘What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before.’
‘We were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.’
‘OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?’
‘In another battle I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off and I got fitted with a hook. I’m fine, really.’
‘What about that eye patch?’
‘Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them shit in my eye.’
‘You’re kidding. You lost an eye from bird s…?’
‘Well it was my first day with the hook. Submitted by Barbara

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM

1. Go to a secondhand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine
3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

“Bubba,

Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour.
Don’t mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of ’em in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter Submitted by Ted

SUBJECT: Reunion dinner

A group of 40 year old buddies discuss and discuss where they should meet for dinner. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen restaurant because the waitresses there have low cut blouses.

10 years later, at 50 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the food there is very good and the wine selection is good also.

10 years later at 60 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because they can eat there in peace and quiet and the restaurant is smoke free.

10 years later, at 70 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss and discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen because the restaurant is wheel chair accessible and they even have an elevator.

10 years later, at 80 years of age, the group meets again and once again they discuss where they should meet. Finally it is agreed upon that they should meet at the Gausthof zum Lowen being they have never been there before.
Submitted by Ted
To my darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the Small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately it’s not too bad and I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake.

The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart.

I am enclosing a picture for you.

I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.

XXX

P.S. Your girlfriend called. Submitted by Ted

INSPIRATIONAL

The Wooden Bowl

A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year – old grandson. The old man’s hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather’s shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth. The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess.

“We must do something about father,” said the son. “I’ve had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor.”

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather’s direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, “What are you making?” Just as sweetly, the boy responded,
“Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.

“The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.

The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather’s hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled

On a positive note, I’ve learned that, no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.
I’ve learned that making a “living” is not the same thing as making a “life…”
I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back
I’ve learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you but, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you
I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.
I’ve learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone.
People love that human touch — holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. Submitted by Barbara

Burned Biscuits

When I was a wee ”tike”, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner every now and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage and extremely burned biscuits in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his biscuit, smile at my mom and ask me how my day was at school. I don’t remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him smear butter and jelly on that biscuit and eat every bite!

When I got up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to my dad for burning the biscuits. And I’ll never forget what he said: “Baby, I love burned biscuits.”

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he really liked his biscuits burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, “Your Momma put in a hard day at work today and she’s real tired. Besides a little burnt biscuit never hurt anyone!” You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people.

What I’ve learned over the years is that learning to accept each other’s faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship.

And that’s my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of your life and lay them at the feet of God. Because in the end, He’s the only One who will be able to give you a relationship where a burnt biscuit isn’t a deal-breaker!

We could extend this to any relationship. In fact, understanding is the base of any relationship, be it a husband-wife, parent-child, siblings, or friendship!

“Don’t put the key to your happiness in someone else’s pocket! Keep it in your own.”

The Doll and the Rose

I was walking around in a Wal*Mart store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, “I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll.”
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: “Granny, Are you sure I don’t have enough money?”
The old lady replied: “You know that you don’t have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.”
Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

“It’s the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.”

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. “No, Santa Claus can’t bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.” His eyes were so sad while saying this. “My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.”

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: “I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.”

Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing. He then told me,
“I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won’t forget me. I love my mommy and I wish she didn’t have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.”
Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy, “Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!”

“OK,” he said, “I hope I do have enough.” I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said, “Thank you God for giving me enough money.” Then he looked at me and added,
“I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!”

“I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn’t dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.”

“My mommy loves white roses.”

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started. I couldn’t get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn’t stop myself as I bought a bunch o f white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

From the Web

Mary turns 110 and still demands warranties on her new goods Dec 30 2009 By Kevan Christie

A WOMAN born in the year the Boer War began celebrated her 110th birthday yesterday with a special copy of the Daily Record. And Mary Macdonald reckons she’s got plenty of years left in her – so much so that she always insists on a five-year guarantee with any new purchases.

Lynn McLean, the manager of the care home where Mary now lives, revealed: “I remember a story about her a few years ago when she needed to buy a new washing machine. “Mrs. Mac saw the model she wanted but insisted on the machine having a five-year warranty. What could be more pragmatic than that?”

Mary posed yesterday with a reproduction of the Daily Record’s FrontPage from Dec 29, 1899, the day she was born.

The former nurse, known as Mrs. Mac to her fiends, also received her third telegram from the Queen as family and friends from around the world arrived for her birthday party at Balcarres Care Home in Dundee.
Mary is Scotland’s second-oldest living woman, after 111-year-old Annie Turnbull from Edinburgh.
Soldiers Born in the village of Fordyce, Banffshire, Mary puts her longevity down to hard work and a life without cigarettes or booze.

The eldest of 10 children, she married Dr John Macdonald in 1926. He died in 1966. Her only son Donald is 85 and lives in America, along with her grandchildren Steven and Sheila and two great-grandchildren.

She said: “Despite having so many birthdays, it really is something I still enjoy and look forward to celebrating with my family and friends – and it’s lovely to receive my third telegram from the Queen.”

Mary was born a day before Rangers played the first match at their brand new Ibrox stadium, a 3-1 victory against Hearts.

In 1920, she began her nursing career at Maryfield Hospital in Dundee, where she later cared for wounded soldiers during World War II.

Lynn added: “I’m honoured to have Mary in our home. She’s an inspiration to all and a truly remarkable lady.
“We have to stop her from trying to play nurse to the other residents and she often tries to help with the dusting.”

Mary has seen four kings, two queens and 26 prime ministers.

She was 14 when the first crossword appeared and 49 before she could play Scrabble, which was launched in 1948.

HISTORY

MARCH – THE MONTH OF THE IRISH!

Saint Patrick, son of Calphurnius and Conchessa was born in 387 at Kilpatrick, near Dumbarton, Scotland. Patrick died on 17 March, 493 at Saul, Downpatrick, Ireland.

His father belonged to a high ranking Roman family and held the office of decurio in Briton. Conchessa was a near relative of the great patron of Gaul, St. Martin of Tours.

At the age of sixteen Patrick was captured by Irish marauders and sold as a slave to Milchu, a chieftain in Dalriada, Co.of Antrim in Ireland. For six years Patrick tended his master’s flocks in the valley of the Braid.
In his “Confessio” Patrick said he prayed: “the love of God”, he added, “and His fear increased in me more and more, and the faith grew in me, and the spirit was roused, so that, in a single day, I have said as many as a hundred prayers, and in the night nearly the same, so that whilst in the woods and on the mountain, even before the dawn, I was roused to prayer and felt no hurt from it, whether there was snow or ice or rain; nor was there any slothfulness in me, such as I see now, because the spirit was then fervent within me.”

In the six years of Patrick’s captivity he acquired a perfect knowledge of Irish (Gaelic) in which he would one day announce tidings of Redemption, and as his master Milchu was a druidical high priest, Patrick learned all the details of Druidism from whose bondage he was destined to liberate the Irish race.

Admonished by an angel, after six years, he fled from his cruel master. He relates in his “Confessio” that he had to travel about 200 miles probably towards Killala Bay. He found a ship ready to set sail and in a few days he was again among his friends in Briton, but his heart was set on devoting himself to the service of God in the sacred ministry.

When St. Germain began his great mission at Auxerre, Patrick put himself under his direction. It was at that great bishop’s hands that Ireland’s future apostle was promoted to the priesthood. When the Holy Sea commissioned Germain to proceed to Briton to combat the teachings of Pelagius, he chose Patrick as one of his missionary companions. In the many remarkable events of the expedition Patrick’s thoughts were persistently of Ireland, and from time to time he had visions of the children from Focluth, who cried to him: “O holy youth, come back to Erin, and walk once more amongst us.”

It is believed that in the summer of 433 Patrick and his companions landed at the mouth of the Vantry River. The Druids were at once in arms against him. But Patrick was not discouraged. He proceeded towards Dalriada where he had been a slave, to pay the price of ransom to his former master, and in exchange for the servitude and cruelty endured at his hands to impart to him the blessings and freedom of God’s children.

At the mouth of the River Boyne a number of the natives gathered around him and heard in Irish, their own sweet tongue, the glad tidings of Redemption. There, he performed his first miracle on Irish soil.

Patrick continued towards Slemish. He had not gone far when chieftain Dichu drew his sword to harm Patrick, but his arm became rigid and stayed that way until he declared obedience to him. Dichu was overcome by the saint’s meekness and miracles, Dichu asked for religious instruction and made a gift of a large barn in which the sacred mysteries were celebrated. This was the first sanctuary in Erin to be dedicated by St. Patrick. The site still retains the name Sabhall (pronounced Saul).

Patrick continued on to Slemish and was shocked on seeing the fort of his old master Milchu in flames. The news of Patrick’s power of miracles had preceded him. Milchu, in a fit of frenzy, gathered his treasures into his mansion and setting it on fire, cast himself into the flames. An ancient record states: “His pride could not endure the thought of being vanquished by his former slave”.

Patrick’s ministry covered a period of 60 years. He founded 365 churches, and a school frequently called a monastery arose beside each church. They were nothing like the Roman Catholic monasteries of later years. Vows were not taken and the clergy were allowed to marry.

St. Patrick continued until his death to visit and watch over the churches he founded and appointed pastors to continue his work among them. It is recorded that he consecrated no fewer than 350 bishops in his lifetime.

St. Patrick prayed that the light would never be extinguished and as he prayed an angel came to him and said: “Fear not: your apostolate shall never cease.” As he thus prayed, the glimmering light grew in brightness, and ceased not until once more all the hills and valleys of Ireland were lit up in their pristine splendour, and then the angel announced to St. Patrick: “Such shall be the abiding splendour of Divine truth in Ireland.”

St. Patrick was called from life on 17 March, 493. St. Tassach administered the last sacraments to him. His remains were wrapped in the shroud woven by St. Brigid’s own hands. The bishops, clergy and faithful people from all parts crowded around his remains to pay due honour to the Father of their Faith. Some of the ancient Lives record that for several days the light of heaven shone around his bier. His remains were interred at the chieftain’s Fort two miles from Saul, where the cathedral of Down was later built.

The Annals of the Kingdom of Ireland states that by the year 438 Christianity had made such progress in Ireland that the laws were changed to agree with the Gospel. That means that in a brief 6 years a 60 year old man was able to change the country so much that even the laws were amended.

St. Patrick had no printing press, no finances, few helpers and Ireland had no Roman roads to travel on.
What could he do if he were among us today?

The Black Stone

It was 150 years ago, in 1859, that the Black Stone also called the Black Rock was erected. The Black Stone is located on Bridge Street at the entrance of the Victoria Bridge on the Montreal side of the St. Lawrence River. The rock was dredged from the river by workers who were constructing the Victoria Bridge and it commemorates the deaths of over 5,000 Irish victims of typhoid fever who had just arrived in Canada after having escaped famine in Ireland in 1847. Already weakened by tragedy at home, the loss of their homes by forced evictions and the death of relatives, as well their own hunger, the long and difficult ship journey to Canada, and then death by typhoid fever when they arrived… It’s a tragic and sad story of these people.
The men who were building the Victoria Bridge discovered the mass grave–they died only twelve years before–of the Irish famine victims, some probably their own deceased relatives. Of course, they insisted that this tragedy be commemorated in some way.
The rock faces a parking lot, on the other side of the street, where the actual graves are located. Every year, at the end of May, several hundred people walk from St. Gabriel’s Church in Point St. Charles to the rock where a memorial service is held. There is a reception at the church hall after the walk
By Stephen Morrissey: family history, Montréal

Gothic Architecture in Canada

One of the greatest examples of 14th and 15th century Gothic Style architecture in all of Canada is Montreal’s St. Patrick’s Basilica. The need for the church rose out of the desire for English speaking Catholics to have a place of their own at which to worship in Montreal. Though the location it stands at today is not the original, it is one of the oldest lasting influences of Irish influence in Montreal Canada.
In 1817, the Church of Bonsecours was a place of veneration for many in the area, but by 1830 the location moved to Church of Recollets because of the growing congregation. By 1841 the size of the congregation grew to 6500 and again a new location was needed. Funds were raised and by 1843 the location that the church rests today, 454 René Lévesque Blvd. West, was purchased. Thought to be a convenient location, this position was at the outskirts of the many parishioners’ homes therefore easily accessible to many.
Construction of St. Patrick’s of Montreal
The architect chosen for the massive undertaking was P.L Morin. The stone was quarried in Montreal and walls were constructed four feet thick. After several years of construction the pontifical high mass was celebrated 17 March 1847. In 1852 the Warren Company of England provided the organ, which was continually rebuilt though the years. The final addition to the organ was in 1972 when it was married to the organ from the old Church of St. Anthony. By 1894 the choir loft was added to accommodate 100 singers. The pews that remain there today were installed in 1894, though the floor that remains is the original from 1847.

Interior of St. Patrick’s
Upon entering, one can’t help but be overcome by the sheer magnificence of the overall building, both in size and décor. The Stations of the Cross are massive oil paintings hung around the interior walls. In the back of the church two wooden spiral staircases, one from each side of the church, lead to the choir loft. Around the nave of the building hang 150 oil paintings of Catholic Saints.
The floor is intricately inlaid with many Irish crosses as well as fleur-de-lis; in remembrance of the connection with the Sulpician order in the church’s beginning history.
Nov 29, 2008 Lisa Cucciniello
Hermine Street is where my (Stephen Morrissey’s) great grandmother, Mary Callaghan, lived, only a few hundred feet from St. Patrick’s where her two brothers, both priests, served the congregation. Father Martin Callaghan was the first Montreal-born pastor of St. Patrick’s. Of course, we are reminded that he was always “interim” pastor, retired from that position for a younger man who happened to be the son of a past mayor of Montreal… It was the act of the nouveau riche Irish not wanting to be associated with a priest from the working class who lacked the social position of the other, younger man. Father Martin’s brother, Father James Callaghan, also served at the church and there is a weather-damaged plaque paying homage to him stored in the basement of the church. I took photographs of the plaque when I visited there with my son about ten years ago. Hermine isn’t much of a street anymore, not residential at all. It’s a half block from St. Patrick’s and the street has been cut in two, by the Ville Marie Expressway. Hermine was once residential, now it’s a wasteland.
By Stephen Morrissey: family history, Montréal

HOW TO STAY YOUNG

1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s family name is Alzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. AND, ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting ‘…man, what a ride!’

ENJOY THE RIDE. THERE IS NO RETURN TICKET. George Carlin’s Views on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50, and your dreams are gone…

But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50, and make it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that, it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80’s, and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

Christian One Liners
We’re called to be witnesses, not lawyers or Judges…
A lot of church members singing ‘Standing on the Promises’ are just sitting on the premises. Submitted by Dolores

We Are More” by Shane Koyczan

When defining Canada you might list some statistics, you might mention our tallest building or biggest lake
You might shake a tree in the fall and call a red leaf Canada
You might rattle off some celebrities might mention Buffy Sainte-Marie
Might even mention the fact that we’ve got a few Barenaked Ladies,
or that we made these crazy things like zippers electric cars and washing machines
When defining Canada it seems the world’s anthem has been “been there done that”
and maybe that’s where we used to be at
It’s true we’ve done and we’ve been
We’ve seen all the great themes get swallowed up by the machine and turned into theme parks
But when defining Canada don’t forget to mention that we have set sparks
We are not just fishing stories about the one that got away We do more than sit around and say “eh?”
And yes we are the home of the Rocket and the Great One who inspired little number nines and little number ninety-nines
But we’re more than just hockey and fishing lines off of the rocky coast of the Maritimes
And some say what defines us is something as simple as please and thank you
And as for you’re welcome well we say that too but we are more than genteel or civilized
We are an idea in the process of being realized
We are young we are cultures strung together then woven into a tapestry
and the design is what makes us more than the sum total of our history
We are an experiment going right for a change
with influences that range from a to zed and yes we say zed instead of zee
We are the colours of Chinatown and the coffee of Little Italy
We dream so big that there are those who would call our ambition an industry
because we are more than sticky maple syrup and clean snow
We do more than grow wheat and brew beer
We are vineyards of good year after good year we reforest what we clear
because we believe in generations beyond our own knowing
Now that so many of us have grown past what used to be we can stand here today
filled with all the hope people have when they say things like “someday”
Someday we’ll be great
Someday we’ll be this or that someday we’ll be at a point when someday was yesterday
And all of our aspirations will pay the way for those who on that day look towards tomorrow
And still they say someday we will reach the goals we set
And we will get interest on our inspiration
because we are more than a nation of whale watchers and lumberjacks more than backpacks and hiking trails
We are hammers and nails building bridges towards those who are willing to walk across
We are the lost-and-found for all those who might find themselves at a loss
We are not the see-through gloss or glamour of those who clamour for the failings of others
We are fathers, brothers, sisters, and mothers, uncles and nephews, aunts and nieces
We are cousins we are found missing puzzle pieces
We are families with room at the table for newcomers
We are more than summers and winters, more than on and off seasons
We are the reasons people have for wanting to stay because we are more than what we say or do
We live to get past what we go through and learn who we are
We are students
Students who study the studiousness of studying so we know what as well as why
We don’t have all the answers but we try and the effort is what makes us more
We don’t all know what it is in life we’re looking for so keep exploring
Go far and wide or go inside but go deep
Go deep as if James Cameron was filming a sequel to The Abyss
and suddenly there was this location scout trying to figure some way out to get inside you
because you’ve been through hell and high water
and you went deep
Keep exploring because we are more than a laundry list of things to do and places to see
We are more than hills to ski or countryside ponds to skate
We are the abandoned hesitation of all those who can’t wait
We are first-rate greasy-spoon diners and healthy-living cafes;
a country that is all the ways you choose to live
a land that can give you variety because we are choices
we are millions upon millions of voices shouting “ keep exploring… we are more”
we are the surprise the world has in store for you – it’s true
Canada is the “what” in “what’s new?”so don’t say “been there done that”
unless you’ve sat on the sidewalk while chalk artists draw still lifes
on the concrete of a kid in the street beatboxing to Neil Young for fun
don’t say you’ve been there done that unless you’ve been here doing it
let this country be your first-aid kit for all the times you get sick of the same old same old
let us be the story told to your friends and when that story ends
leave chapters for the next time you’ll come back next time pack for all the things you didn’t pack for the first time but don’t let your luggage define your travels each life unravels differently and experiences are what make up the colours of our tapestry
We are the true north strong and free and what’s more
is that we didn’t just say it
we made it be.
*Commissioned by the Canadian Tourism Commission

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